Intentional parenting

Tag: school

  • Safeguarding your children as a parent

    Understanding Safeguarding

    Safeguarding refers to the measures taken to protect children from abuse, neglect, exploitation, and harm. It involves promoting their welfare, ensuring they grow up in a safe environment, and taking action when there are concerns about their safety.

    Our founder and director Fadzai is a safeguarding consultant with extensive experience working at senior level in health and social care covering both public and private sector organisations. Full detail on her linkdn

    Key Safeguarding Responsibilities for Parents

    1. Recognising Signs of Abuse and Neglect

    Parents should be aware of potential signs of harm, which can include:

    • Physical abuse: Unexplained bruises, burns, or fractures.

    • Emotional abuse: Low self-esteem, withdrawal, or fearfulness.

    • Sexual abuse: Inappropriate sexual knowledge, fear of a certain person, or secrecy. This includes sexting, where young people send inappropriate images to each other.

    • Neglect: Poor hygiene, malnutrition, or lack of supervision, medical neglect.

    If you suspect abuse, contact your local safeguarding team, GP, school, or social services. You can also call the NSPCC (0808 800 5000) or Childline (0800 1111) for guidance.

    2. Online Safety Measures

    With increasing screen time, safeguarding children online is essential:

    • Use parental controls on devices and apps.

    • Monitor social media activity and set boundaries.

    • Teach children about online dangers, including cyberbullying and grooming.

    • Encourage open discussions so they feel safe reporting concerns.

    3. Supervision and Safe Environments

    • Always know your child’s whereabouts and who they are with.

    • Ensure they have a trusted adult to confide in.

    • Teach them about “stranger danger” while balancing the need to be polite.

    • Ensure babysitters, nannies, or carers are DBS-checked and reputable.

    4. Mental Health and Emotional Well-being

    Children’s mental well-being is just as important as physical health. Look out for:

    • Sudden changes in mood or behaviour.

    • Anxiety, depression, or withdrawal from activities.

    • Self-harm or talk of hopelessness.

    Encourage open conversations and seek professional support through your GP, school counsellors, CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services), or charities like YoungMinds.

    5. Health and Medical Safeguarding

    • Keep up with childhood immunisations.

    • Store medications safely out of children’s reach.

    • Teach basic first aid and when to call 999 in emergencies.

    • Encourage a healthy lifestyle with balanced nutrition and exercise.

    6. Safeguarding in Schools and Activities

    • Ensure schools have strong safeguarding policies and designated safeguarding leads (DSLs).

    • Check that clubs, sports teams, and extracurricular activities follow child protection policies.

    • Encourage children to report bullying or any uncomfortable experiences.

    What to Do If You Have Concerns

    If you suspect a child is at risk, take immediate action:

    1. Report concerns to the school’s DSL, GP, or local safeguarding team.

    2. Contact social services or the police (101 for non-emergency, 999 for urgent danger).

    3. Use national helplines like NSPCC, Barnardo’s, or the Local Safeguarding Children Partnerships (LSCPs)

    Final Thoughts

    Safeguarding is a shared responsibility among parents, caregivers, professionals, and the wider community. By staying informed, creating open conversations, and knowing where to seek help, you can play a vital role in keeping your child safe and supported.

    For further advice, visit:

    • NSPCC: www.nspcc.org.uk

    • Childline: www.childline.org.uk

    • UK Government Safeguarding Guidance: www.gov.uk

    If you need specific advice, advocacy, safeguarding concerns or challenges, feel free to ask. Get in touch with Fadzai here

    Remain intentional

    Fadzai x

  • Child Q

    Intentional parenting stands with Child Q. As a community of black African parents, we will work with our community at large to heal on the trauma that we have faced.

    What makes Child Q a very distressing and complex case is the layers of abuse, discrimination, injustice the community faces. To rectify these issues requires a system wise approach. For instance, why didn’t Child Q refuse to be undressed without her parents there??

    As I write it’s difficult to imagine what must have been going through her mind when all this was happening. I want to take a minute and applaud the relationship Child Q has with her mother that she was able to share the horrors of what happened to her.

    Thank you to the Hackney Safeguarding who took this forward to the panel.

    We are holding a series of webinars to discuss about this trauma, led by qualified practitioners from education, health, safeguarding, parenting,faith, youth work and many others.

    Intentional Parenting invites those with expertise in those areas, are willing to work with our community to get in touch via our contact page below via email/ phone/ whatsapp.

    We are open and willing to work with both statutory and voluntary organisations in forging a way forward.

    We understand that this is not an isolated incident. We will speak to our children and LISTEN to their experiences. We will LEARN from their experiences and stand with them.

    We promise to make time and read the SCHOOL policies so we are familiar with them.

    As a community we will seek opportunities to be part of the change both in schools and our local areas. These will include volunteering and participating in events that involve our children’s education such as school governorship, PTA (parent teacher association), youth work etc.

    We pledge to continue working within our community and other partner agencies in making sure ALL children thrive and reach their potential.

    To Child Q and many others, we see you. we hear you. As your parents forgive us for times we didn’t believe you, we are willing to do the work.

  • Diaspora diaries: My children and their education-supporting exam time.

    Webinar

    Below are the tips we shared on supporting your children.

    God has called us into a *living* relationship with Him and those around us especially our families, children in particular.

    By investing time, we are able to be effective in supporting their journey into their growth.

    – Loving them despite and beyond the grades is key.

    – Love propels us to invest time in prayer for them.

    – Supporting them with their studies throughout the year is more important than exam day.

    – Speak to their teachers, be involved at school.

    – For most of us, the education system is a whole new experience. Seek to learn from others, ask questions, be open and willing to learn.

    – Let’s be sensitive and empathetic towards other parents who may seem to be struggling at school.

    –

    Here are seven effective strategies:

    1. Create a Study-Friendly Environment

    •Why: A quiet, organized space helps concentration and reduces distractions.

    •How:

    • Dedicate a specific area for studying, free from noise and clutter.

    • Provide good lighting, comfortable seating, and necessary stationery.

    • Encourage short, focused study sessions using the Pomodoro technique (25 minutes of work, 5 minutes of break).

    2. Establish a Study Routine

    •Why: A consistent routine reduces anxiety and builds productive habits.

    •How:

    • Work together to create a realistic revision timetable, balancing core subjects and weaker areas.

    • Include regular breaks and time for relaxation to prevent burnout.

    • Monitor progress and adjust the plan if needed.

    3. Manage Phone and Social Media Usage

    •Why: Phones and social media can be major distractions during study time.

    •How:

    • Agree on “phone-free” study times and use apps like Forest or Focus Booster to block distractions.

    • Designate times for social media use, ideally during breaks or after study sessions.

    • Lead by example by minimizing your own screen time during family hours.

    4. Encourage a Balanced Lifestyle

    •Why: Physical activity, sleep, and a healthy diet improve focus and reduce stress.

    •How:

    • Promote regular exercise, such as walks, yoga, or sports.

    • Ensure they get 8-9 hours of sleep each night by setting consistent bedtimes.

    • Provide nutritious meals and encourage hydration, avoiding excess caffeine or sugary snacks.

    5. Offer Emotional Support

    •Why: GCSEs can be stressful, and children need to feel supported and understood.

    •How:

    • Listen to their concerns without judgment and offer reassurance.

    • Avoid comparing them to peers or siblings.

    • Celebrate small achievements to boost their confidence and motivation.

    6. Encourage Active Revision Techniques

    •Why: Passive studying is less effective than active learning.

    •How:

    • Suggest methods like mind maps, flashcards, practice exams, and teaching concepts to others.

    • Use online resources, such as GCSEPod, BBC Bitesize, or Seneca Learning, to diversify study approaches.

    • Discuss difficult topics together to help them articulate their understanding.

    7. Model a Growth Mindset

    •Why: A positive attitude can reduce anxiety and encourage perseverance.

    •How:

    • Emphasize effort over results: “It’s about doing your best, not being perfect.”

    • Share examples from your own life where persistence led to improvement.

    • Remind them that setbacks are learning opportunities, not failures.

    Bonus Tip: Stay Involved

    Regularly check in on their progress and well-being without micromanaging. Balance support with independence to build their confidence in managing their responsibilities.

  • Exam

    Praying and wishing all the children sitting their exams this month of May all the success they need.

    May they remember what they have revised. May they have peace and confidence in their ability. Above all, we pray that they will know that their worth isn’t measured in grades.

    We pray for the parents that they will be supportive and encouraging. May parents be realistic in their expectations. We ask that parents affirm and reassure their children. Lord let your peace, love and calmness invade our homes.

    We stand against any spirit of anxiety, worry, stress, depression, unrealistic expectations, confusion and restlessness. We push back on territorial and seasonal spirits that rise up in this season causing havoc in family life.

    We lift up our schools. May they be places of safety and learning. We ask that you empower the leaders in the schools to be attentive, available, astute and aware of the needs of the children in their schools. Give them the courage to remain open, honesty and transparent to the challenges they face in their schools. When they have done so, please help them to find help and solutions to those needs. Father, help the teachers to know and remember how powerful they are in the lives of the children. As they walk through this exam season, walk with them, with their fears, worries and anxieties. Allow them to realise the fruits of their head work.

    Thank you for our tertiary places of education; colleges, universities and apprenticeships. Help and guide these young adults in their decision making and life preparation. Remind each and everyone of them, that you KNOW their future and you want them to do well. Help them to trust you with their future. Quiten the internal battles and societal expectations. This exam period, help them in all the ways they need this month and beyond.

    Thank you Lord that you hear and answer us. Amen

  • Dear parent

    Saw this on facebook and had to share. While it’s advise to people with young children, it’s a reminder to us all of how quick time flies and that one day our little babies too will be all grown up.

    When you first have children they talk about the challenges of parenting….the struggles of a baby waking in the night,
    the toddler who won’t stay in their bed, the cost of childcare, injuries from sports…

    Having to take off work to pick them up from school when they don’t feel well, helping them with homework, a messy house, the never ending laundry, the cost to buy school clothes, packing their lunches….

    You watch their eyes light up on Christmas morning….and try to soak in the magic of those moments.

    You coach them in sports, rushing to practices and ballgames…and tote them all over the country to let them play the game they love…no matter how exhausting or expensive it becomes.

    Life is just so busy that you rarely even stop to think what the end of those days look like.

    In fact, it’s not really even something you can wrap your mind around.

    You go into it thinking that 18-20 years sounds like a long time….

    Then suddenly hours turn into days…days into months…and months into years.

    That little person that used to crawl up next to you in bed and cuddle up to watch cartoons…suddenly becomes this young adult who hugs you in the hallway as they come and go.

    And the chaos and laughter that used to echo throughout your home….gets filled with silence and solitude.

    You’ve learned how to parent a child who needs you to care for and protect them….but have no clue how the whole “letting go” thing is supposed to work.

    So you hold on as tight as you can…wondering how time passed so quickly…feeling guilty that you missed something….

    Because even though you had 20 years…..it just somehow doesn’t seem like it was enough.

    You ask yourself so many questions…

    Did you teach them the right lessons?
    Did you read them enough books as a child?
    Spend enough time playing with them?
    How many school parties did you have to miss?
    Do they really know how much you love them?
    What could I have done better as a parent?

    …..When it’s time for them to go, it all hits you like a ton of bricks.

    And all you can do is pray….hope….and trust that God will protect them as they start to make their way into the world alone.

    Parenting is by far the most amazing experience of your life….that at times leaves you exhilarated….while others leave you heartbroken.

    But one thing is certain…..it’s never enough time…💕

    So for all the parents with young children…whose days are spent trying to figure out how to make it through the madness…
    Exhausted day in and day out…

    Soak. It. All. In.

    Because one day….all those crazy days full of cartoons, snuggles, sleep overs, Christmas morning magic, ballgames, practices and late night dinners…

    All come to an end.

    And you’re left hoping that you did enough right, so that when they spread their wings….

    They’ll fly…💕💕

  • Should we pay for good grades?

    What children think their parents want for them can play a significant role in shaping the children’s chances of future success and well-being. Parental pressure to excel in school and extracurricular activities can increase kids’ risk of stress, as well as have a negative impact on kids’ well-being and success later in life. This is especially true if parents value grades and achievement over things like empathy, compassion, kindness, and social skills. “VeryWellFamily “

    We took a poll on intentional_parenting and the results were as below. The evidence weighs heavily against PAYING in favor of rewarding EFFORT.

    If a parent were to say, ‘I will give you this if you achieve all As’, the child is likely to do it for that reward. It also means that subsequently, s/he will think, well, the only reason to learn is to get the reward. If I am not getting the reward that I want, I am not interested in learning.”

    The downside to giving kids rewards is that they put the responsibility for learning on the parent – who needs to come up with more rewards for sustained results and also has to continue to monitor success.

    Suggest a celebration, like going to a special restaurant for a meal. This is not a reward but just an acknowledgment and celebration of a goal achieved.

    Reward your child verbally. Once your child has achieved a goal, say how the effort and studying paid off and how you’re proud he improved their grades.

    Morally it can be tricky giving cash to children for good grades. You never know what someone might agree to do in exchange for the promise of another cash payment.

    Daniel Coyle, author of the best-selling book, The Talent Code, points out that praising effort not accomplishment is much more likely to lead to successful outcomes. Not just any effort, but persistent, intensive effort that comes with focusing on overcoming errors by pushing oneself to the edge of one’s knowledge and skills.

    There is no guarantee that the money would go to useful things. This may potentially create more work for the parents who need to monitor how the money is spent.

    The pros and cons of paying students for good grades depends on the effectiveness of the solution. There will be some kids motivated by this approach to learning, but there will also be others who are turned off by the idea of this “bribe.” That is why many schools use positive reinforcement and non-cash-based rewards like books, pencils, or clothing as a way to enhance motivation.

    If you need further details on how best you can encourage and support your child to get better grades, this article by Verywellfamily has some great suggestions.

    Many years ago when our eldest and only son entered a school dance completion and won, he was awarded a £50 Waterstones voucher. I didn’t see the correlation until later that it’s important how and where we encourage our children to invest/ spend their money. It also taught me as a parent what a reward should look like.

    Any thoughts or additions? Would love to hear from you.

    Thanks for stopping by.

    Fadzai

  • Day 2

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    Thank you Lord that you are a sun and shield around our children. Help them to understand and appreciate Your help and sustenance. May they know that in You is refuge and strength. We lift up in prayer those children and their families who may be going through very difficulty and challenging times, would You surround them with Your love and embrace. Make a way for them so that they may enjoy life and be a blessing to their generation. Help them  not to be a thorn in the lives of our children.

    Thank for helping the school leaders in taking the issue of bullying in schools seriously. We break every lie of bureaucracy and sweeping things under the carpet at the expense of our children. Raise up warriors within the school environment who are really there for the needs of the children.

    Strengthen us as parents to do the RIGHT things always by our children and not the easy way out. Teach us to look to You always in every moment and circumstance of our lives. Allow us by the power and anointing of the Holy Spirit to parent as you would want us to: courageously with grace, faith, hope and love. Amen