For the next months of October, November and December we will be praying, reflecting and meditating on this book. It promises to be an incredible time of feasting on the WORD, growing your knowledge muscle and exercising your faith.
More details here
Parenting for purpose
The key to learning about brain development is to knowing and understanding that our children’s brains are not fully developed before they are 25 years🤓😬. Long time, I hear you say… it is indeed, so brace yourself for the journey!
Hands up to those who became parents with under developed brains …. 🙋🏾♀️
This isn’t to shame anyone but to create a place to reflect and think :
So what does that mean to my parenting journey?
How did my experience shape the relationship I have with my child/ren?
Who else was/ is helping me in my transitioning and journey?
How am I thriving in this space?
What do I do with what I know now?
In many non western cultures of the global majority, a village/ community is there to help raise a child hence some of the challenges of having children young were mitigated. The turbulent teen years were dealt with by a community so the nuclear family did not feel it that much. For those of us who grew up in Zimbabwe in the 90s and beyond we know how the christian values and beliefs shaped us even for those whose parents didn’t actively practice christianity. Gospel songs were everywhere and pretty much what we listened to especially in public places eg in commuter buses, shops and malls. So imagine the impact that had on our minds and well being!
Fast forward to now, where families are dispersed and all over… what does that mean to be a PARENT in this fast paced world?
How are you minding your child’s brain?
What sort of things can you do as a parent to support positive brain development? How can you look after yourself during what is sometimes termed ‘turbulent teen years’?
For this and more… Be sure to subscribe to this blog for the upcoming masterclass on intentionalparenting©️ starting in Autumn/November 2023.
More details to follow…
For now, remain intentional 🌱
To all mums, are you checking in with your #momfriends?
Let’s normalise having these deep conversations. If this is your first time seeing our #intentionalcheckin, is this something you will be able to do with your community/ support network/ village?
One of the challenges of modern day parenting is social isolation. Yes we may have so many followers/ fans, be in so many social media groups be it whatsapp/ facebook, threads, you name it.
Yet we feel so alone!
Developing those meaningful relationships becomes key as we seek to thrive in this parenting game. You may argue that ‘me I do not need anyone apart from my children or husband’
What about your children? How are you teaching/ showing them the power of community and positive network?
‘Your children are watching and learning from you on how to live. Inspire them’
Wilferd Peterson
My observations and personal experiences is that you only need 2 or 3 people that you connect with at this level of doing this proper check in. People you can HONESTLY tell about the exciting and challenging things in your life.
If you have 1 or 2 people you trust, invest in those relationships. Diarise those catch ups and honour them because life is very busy especially as parents.
Depending with the ages of your children
, you can use this as family check in as well. Why don’t you give it ago. Try at dinner time to check in with everyone..
Number 4 is also very important, that questions is often underplayed yet a game changer.
If you are not able to find practical help, in so many other ways, PRAY, Listen, signpost.
We all can help.
If you would like to discuss #momfriendship, need some ideas, support, signpostage,… book a confidential 1:1 consultation here
May be you need someone to pray with you over this issue… do reach out via the consultation line on link here
Here is to thriving and flourishing in parenting.
Yours in the trenches with you
Fadzai x
We are here , 7th month of the year and if you are anything like me, surprised at how time is flying! We are finally in the second half of the year and we all know summer time goes quickly.
With that said, how do you prepare for the new month? Some people like to set intentions, find a word for the month, go out for a family meal, do a family activity, others fast for a day. What’s key is to do what works for you and your family. Setting family traditions/ rituals has been found to help keep families connected and thriving.
For most Christian families we may well remember that the beginning or end of the month normally involve corporate gathering together to pray and give thanks. Some call it an all night prayer, empowerment night, night vigil etc. This is very biblical as we read in Old Testament the importance of beginning and end of seasons. It’s time to reflect on Gods goodness and mercy. May be the first half of the year was challenging, how do you anticipate to navigate the next half? Probably it was thrilling and exciting, how do you want to continue building on that?
Living a life of intention helps to keep you focussed and motivated on your goals as parents. It’s not so much about the big ideas but the small everyday traditions that make a huge impact. It matters how you start the day.
One of the key things I am passionate about is the dinner table. This has been transformative for us as a family. The discussions and conversations we have had whilst eating have been powerful and would never have happened if we watched TV whilst eating.
This is a habit that I highly recommend to all families especially with younger children. You want to set that expectation before they become teens who want to do their own thing and spend as little time with you as possible. Laying that expectation early will yield some much needed benefits later on. If you have not been doing it, it’s never too late. Be prepared to do the ground work though 😀
For more details on setting intentions, seizing the month and our annual vision board workshop coming soon, be sure to subscribe to our email list so you are kept update of what is going.
To find out how I can help you achieve your parenting goals, do contact me via email below or book a FREE consultation via link here
Wishing you a blessed and impactful month.
Becoming your mama was and continues to be my greatest legacy. Growing together has been exhilarating, exciting and challenging at most times. Can’t wait for what the future holds. Intentional parenting is you son. Thank you for the many lessons learnt that I get to share with other parents. Thank you for your patience as I continually learn how to mother you better. Thank you for your understanding that at most times, I am winging it with you. Thank you for the grace you extend when I am able to get it right with your sister. I love being your mama.
So today on your birthday I pray that you continually know who you are in God’s eyes. I pray that your light will shine brighter before your generation. I pray that you never have to doubt yourself, second guess Gods purpose and capabilities that are in you. I pray that you will continue to rest in the love we have for you as your parents. I ask God to lead and guide you all the days of your life. Above all I pray that you will walk in Gods purpose, utilising all the gifts and talents that God has given you. I pray for your friends who are your greatest social capita, that they would love you sincerely, be there for you faithfully and that they would encourage you in all things. Quinton, I pray that in all things you will allow your faith to speak louder than your fears.
Thank you for being an exceptional man of God. A man of integrity and honour. Your diligence and fortitude is admirable. Your mind is beautiful son. I am deeply honoured to not only love but raise you. I promise to continuously learn and dedicate my life to being your steward and Gods servant into your life.
Love you always MaiQ.
Stumbled upon this verse and I have to admit, I was astounded!
Astounded maybe because of my inadequacies, my flawed inability to stand long enough together with fellow bethren to see their prayers answered. Yet the Lord commands us to ‘stand together UNTIL”.
When was the last time you stood in faith with someone for those things that He answered in your own life?
#purpose
#bethrenhood 🙏🏽❤
This was our Word for the month of September 2019. Back then, I had received 3 indoor plants in one month. I began to sense that there was a deeper meaning to the random gifts friends gave me.
I am in no way, shape or form good with plants. One friend said ‘ the more reason why I am gifting you plants’. Talk of being stretched 😂
I struggled with a particular plant a bit and had to run back to the giver. She advised me to CAREFULLY trim the dead parts of the leaf, feed the plants organic home food and watch. The organic home fertiliser comprised of overnight soaked banana peels, egg shells and tea bag.
To my amazement, the plant started to thrive.
This was my latest gift, Rejoice and I loved her!
I felt the law of seeding and harvesting was at work in that season. Seeding, weeding, nurturing and tending to plants requires careful attention as well as commitment. The harvest is bountiful to those who will do the work right?
“Lord strengthen my hands in place of hard labour(parenting). Help me not to shrink back or give up. Allow my entrusted plants (children) to flourish through careful considerations.”
Isn’t it amazing that this plant analogy also translates to our role as parents! Many of us we are not confident in this area. We are not sure what fertiliser to apply, how much moisture and where to place the plant so it can thrive and blossom. All this guesswork and stress levels 🤣🤣.
What I have found to be useful is having that trustworthy and well informed friend. Remember that passionate green fingered friend of mine forever gifting plants? Yes, her! Each time I visit her house she has got this new plant, that other plant and they are ALL blossoming. Interestingly, she tells me that she reads a lot about these plants before she buys them. She is careful to follow instructions around watering, plant feed and placement. She chuckles every time I tell her the plant she gifted me has died..
While google is available to all of us, my understanding, patience and interests are clearly not strong in plants. Despite my desire and keenness to have an instagram inspired green house of a living room, it just isn’t happening!
l
My friend do not shy away from asking. Asking trusted friends to show, guide and lead m. Reach out to others who can help.
The upcoming intentional parenting Masterclass , is a 6 weeks online crash course on being the effective parent leader that you want to be. More details following soon. There is tons of information available out there, sometimes too much and too overwhelming. Where does one even start to look and who are trusted and qualified people to help?
Intentional parenting stands as a TRUSTED friend who understands some of the complexities and challenges that come with raising children in diaspora. Our strategies are informed by research evidence as well as personal experiences.
We look forward to seeing you FLOURISH in your journey as a parent.
To find out more, get in touch here, via our contact page.
Remain in bloom 🌷
Fadzai x
Saturday musings
There are more messy entries which I shall share, once permission is granted 🤣😎
Loved this hence I am sharing with you🤣. Stumbled upon this journal entry whilst tidying the bedrooms. I have never been called Fadzai before so this a WHOLE new level for my cherub. This entire entry has been revelatory for me today 😍.
Can I let you in onto something? I have struggled with the whole parenting shindig. Intentional Parenting exists in my bid to share all my pitfalls and blind spots so YOU do not have to. Once in a while I come across evidence such as this 👆🏾, that reminds me that I do get some things RIGHT. Giving notebooks and stationery gifts to my children has been powerful over the years.
This is a journal entry in 2020 from one of my precious jewels. The global pandemic was in full swing and emotions were raging all over the place in the Nyirenda household. We had the exhausted parents from working in healthcare and then the young adults overwhelmed and literally STUCK at home. It was a mess.
In a bid to get some control, sanity and maintain a level of mental wellness, phones were confiscated and that’s how we ended up here.
To see this entry today 2.4.22, warms my heart to a certain extent. Many a times the decisions we make as parents can be painful as we are not 💯 sure wether we are doing the right thing. And to be honest, there will never be a time you are 💯 sure
Whatever decision you need to make for your family , your children especially, trust your GUT. Utilise the research evidence you have at hand about that particular decision. Ask God to help you and find out from His word what you need to do. Reach out to other TRUSTED parents in confidence.
“Effective, intentional parenting isn’t a two people band. Don’t let anyone lie to you. BUILD a community around you to help, you need it.”
Fadzai
Back to your decision making; What’s the worst that can happen?
That’s one of the questions I ask myself when I need to make an important decision and work my work back to mitigate that WORST thing that can happen.
Take for instance, confiscating the phone from your teen. What’s the worst that can happen?
-S/he may hate you
-She may get another dodgy phone from someone else.
-S/he may get social media withdrawal symptoms; depressed/ angry/ upset etc
-S/he may struggle to reach you in an emergency etc.
You explore all this and plan effectively.
The key and most important question is;
What am I trying to do in my parenting??
For me, I am raising the future . I want to honour God in my parenting. I want to raise independent, secure citizens. All this informs my parenting style, commitment and VISION.
Note books are good for putting your thoughts on paper. This is a very useful strategy to use especially with teens who sometimes may struggle to express themselves.
Do you use notebooks, do you write letters to your child/ren, partner or yourself?
If you haven’t tried it, give a go and let me know…
For those who practice this, how is this working? Let me know in comments below,…
Remain blessed and anchored 🌱
Every blessing.
Fadzai
Who are you walking with in this season?
Who are those wise friends helping you as a parent? The friends who are caring, thoughtful, encouraging and sencire.
📌Find 3 friends that you trust, love and admire.Friends you can be vulnerable and honest with.
🙏🏽Pray for them and their families faithfully. Ask God to use them in your life in a powerful way. Pray that you will be a great friend too.
❤️Let them know that you appreciate their friendship.
💫Be #intentional in cultivating that relationship through spending time and encouraging one another.
By doing that, we are role modelling to our children what it means to be a #FaithfulFriend.
Remain intentional 🌱
Intentional parenting 