Intentional parenting

Tag: parenting

  • Flourish

    This was our Word for the month of September 2019. Back then, I had received 3 indoor plants in one month. I began to sense that there was a deeper meaning to the random gifts friends gave me.

    I am in no way, shape or form good with plants. One friend said ā€˜ the more reason why I am gifting you plantsā€™. Talk of being stretched šŸ˜‚

    I struggled with a particular plant a bit and had to run back to the giver. She advised me to CAREFULLY trim the dead parts of the leaf, feed the plants organic home food and watch. The organic home fertiliser comprised of overnight soaked banana peels, egg shells and tea bag.

    To my amazement, the plant started to thrive.

    Rejoice

    This was my latest gift, Rejoice and I loved her!

    I felt the law of seeding and harvesting was at work in that season. Seeding, weeding, nurturing and tending to plants requires careful attention as well as commitment. The harvest is bountiful to those who will do the work right?

    ā€œLord strengthen my hands in place of hard labour(parenting). Help me not to shrink back or give up. Allow my entrusted plants (children) to flourish through careful considerations.ā€

    Isnā€™t it amazing that this plant analogy also translates to our role as parents! Many of us we are not confident in this area. We are not sure what fertiliser to apply, how much moisture and where to place the plant so it can thrive and blossom. All this guesswork and stress levels šŸ¤£šŸ¤£.

    What I have found to be useful is having that trustworthy and well informed friend. Remember that passionate green fingered friend of mine forever gifting plants? Yes, her! Each time I visit her house she has got this new plant, that other plant and they are ALL blossoming. Interestingly, she tells me that she reads a lot about these plants before she buys them. She is careful to follow instructions around watering, plant feed and placement. She chuckles every time I tell her the plant she gifted me has died..

    While google is available to all of us, my understanding, patience and interests are clearly not strong in plants. Despite my desire and keenness to have an instagram inspired green house of a living room, it just isnā€™t happening!

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    My friend do not shy away from asking. Asking trusted friends to show, guide and lead m. Reach out to others who can help.

    The upcoming intentional parenting Masterclass , is a 6 weeks online crash course on being the effective parent leader that you want to be. More details following soon. There is tons of information available out there, sometimes too much and too overwhelming. Where does one even start to look and who are trusted and qualified people to help?

    Intentional parenting stands as a TRUSTED friend who understands some of the complexities and challenges that come with raising children in diaspora. Our strategies are informed by research evidence as well as personal experiences.

    We look forward to seeing you FLOURISH in your journey as a parent.

    To find out more, get in touch here, via our contact page.

    Remain in bloom šŸŒ·

    Fadzai x

  • Hey Fa,

    Saturday musings

    There are more messy entries which I shall share, once permission is granted šŸ¤£šŸ˜Ž

    Loved this hence I am sharing with youšŸ¤£. Stumbled upon this journal entry whilst tidying the bedrooms. I have never been called Fadzai before so this a WHOLE new level for my cherub. This entire entry has been revelatory for me today šŸ˜.

    Can I let you in onto something? I have struggled with the whole parenting shindig. Intentional Parenting exists in my bid to share all my pitfalls and blind spots so YOU do not have to. Once in a while I come across evidence such as this šŸ‘†šŸ¾, that reminds me that I do get some things RIGHT. Giving notebooks and stationery gifts to my children has been powerful over the years.

    This is a journal entry in 2020 from one of my precious jewels. The global pandemic was in full swing and emotions were raging all over the place in the Nyirenda household. We had the exhausted parents from working in healthcare and then the young adults overwhelmed and literally STUCK at home. It was a mess.

    In a bid to get some control, sanity and maintain a level of mental wellness, phones were confiscated and thatā€™s how we ended up here.

    To see this entry today 2.4.22, warms my heart to a certain extent. Many a times the decisions we make as parents can be painful as we are not šŸ’Æ sure wether we are doing the right thing. And to be honest, there will never be a time you are šŸ’Æ sure

    Whatever decision you need to make for your family , your children especially, trust your GUT. Utilise the research evidence you have at hand about that particular decision. Ask God to help you and find out from His word what you need to do. Reach out to other TRUSTED parents in confidence.

    ā€œEffective, intentional parenting isnā€™t a two people band. Donā€™t let anyone lie to you. BUILD a community around you to help, you need it.ā€

    Fadzai

    Back to your decision making; Whatā€™s the worst that can happen?

    Thatā€™s one of the questions I ask myself when I need to make an important decision and work my work back to mitigate that WORST thing that can happen.

    Take for instance, confiscating the phone from your teen. Whatā€™s the worst that can happen?

    -S/he may hate you

    -She may get another dodgy phone from someone else.

    -S/he may get social media withdrawal symptoms; depressed/ angry/ upset etc

    -S/he may struggle to reach you in an emergency etc.

    You explore all this and plan effectively.

    The key and most important question is;

    What am I trying to do in my parenting??

    For me, I am raising the future . I want to honour God in my parenting. I want to raise independent, secure citizens. All this informs my parenting style, commitment and VISION.

    Note books are good for putting your thoughts on paper. This is a very useful strategy to use especially with teens who sometimes may struggle to express themselves.

    Do you use notebooks, do you write letters to your child/ren, partner or yourself?

    If you havenā€™t tried it, give a go and let me knowā€¦

    For those who practice this, how is this working? Let me know in comments below,ā€¦

    Remain blessed and anchored šŸŒ±

    Every blessing.

    Fadzai

  • Growth

    Just realised that I have a lot of growing up to do šŸ˜‚

    What about you? Which areas are you currently strengthening? Which ones do you feel/ think you are doing well?

    āœØIf you have young adult children, senior teens, use this as a conversation tool. Review those areas together and formulate an action plan. For example:

    šŸ’¹Financial lifeā€¦ there is lots of apps to use with young people around being financially savvy, eg Natwest money sense.

    šŸ“ŒHow is s/he managing social life, screen time? Itā€™s good to measure this with evidence. Screen time usage is readily available on iphone and androids.

    šŸ€Having a break from the phone/ screen makes room for creativity thereby tackling number 10.

    šŸ¤øšŸ¾ā€ā™€ļøHow about physical activity. How do you keep motivated? Do you use the apple/ smart watch to see how many steps you have taken? Do you have a gym/ exercise buddy?

    Let us know if you find this useful or there is smelting you can add.

    With blessings

    Fadzai x

  • Wise parents

    Who are you walking with in this season?
    Who are those wise friends helping you as a parent? The friends who are caring, thoughtful, encouraging and sencire.

    šŸ“ŒFind 3 friends that you trust, love and admire.Friends you can be vulnerable and honest with.

    šŸ™šŸ½Pray for them and their families faithfully. Ask God to use them in your life in a powerful way. Pray that you will be a great friend too.

    ā¤ļøLet them know that you appreciate their friendship.

    šŸ’«Be #intentional in cultivating that relationship through spending time and encouraging one another.

    By doing that, we are role modelling to our children what it means to be a #FaithfulFriend.

    Remain intentional šŸŒ±

  • Hey mama,

    Hey mama, how have you been? You have been on my mind. I am writing this just to encourage someone who may be saying, I donā€™t have much to give as far as motherhood is concerned. I am tired, weary, overwhelmed, on my own, financially distressed etc. Here is an encouragement for you. God sees your heart and your desires. Offer those to Him.

    Let Him carry the weight of motherhood and parenting. His shoulders are broader and His feet steady. Trust Him with the load and allow His rest to give you peace.

    Praying for our families especially children is a gift that we give. The Bible says the ā€˜FERVENTā€™ prayer of the righteous availeth much (James 5:16 summarised). In another version it reads:

    ā€œtremendous power is released through the passionate, heartfelt prayer of a godly believer!ā€
    ā€­ā€­James (Jacob)ā€¬ ā€­5:16ā€¬ ā€­TPTā€¬ā€¬

    I do not think there is anyone who can be as FERVENT as a mum in her desires for her child/ren. May be biased but heyā€¦ šŸ˜

    Pray however suits you. Pray the WORD over your situation/ circumstance and family. Believe and have confidence in your prayers.

    We are continuing with the 6am prayers. For me they have been a source of strength, encouragement and commitment in actively praying for my family and especially myself. I believe it is out of the abundance of what we have that we are able to impact our children. You canā€™t give what you do not have right?

    Here is my prayer for you:.

    May you know Gods grace and love in such a tangible and profound way. May His peace be in your homes. May you love and love well šŸ’•

    Let us know how we can pray for you https://intentionalparenting.blog/contact/

    If you care to join the 6am GMT prayers, via zoom, link is below:

    https://us02web.zoom.us/j/6335913172?pwd=MnNlNGhIK0M3TVRWSVliY1ZIeEVtUT09
    Meeting ID: 633 591 3172
    Passcode: prayer

    Till then, remain fervent šŸŒæ

  • Morning Devotion

    Thank you to those who joined this morning. The prayers continue Monday- fridays at 6am GMT for 30mins via zoom.

    Today, one of our sisters and #momfriend, led us into praying for ourselves as mothers, to be vessels used in our childrenā€™s lives.


    Like Moses with the children of Israel, God is asking you, what do you have in your hand? Moses felt inadequate, ill- prepared and unqualified for the assignment ahead of him. Sounds familiar?

    Often times as parents we can feel out depth, inadequate and challenged by the demands of parenting. God is saying to you mom, dadā€¦

    What do you have?

    Yes I know you lack the knowledge, language, understanding. What is it that you have? I want to use what you already have!

    The patience, love, joy, hope, aspiration, dreams and visions that you have towards your child/ren, let me use that! Give it to me. Allow my spirit to search deep within you and REVEAL some of the hidden capacities that I have put in you.
    itā€™s those hidden things you possess that I want to use for my glory as you impact and empower your children.

    Prayer:

    Lord reveal to me whatā€™s in my hand and heart so I can be of use to You. Show me the capabilities and capacity you have given me. Open my spiritual eyes to see. Thank you Holy Spirit for equipping and empowering me as a parent. Amenā€

    Reading

    Luke 10:19
    Mathew 16:19
    2Peter 1:3
    Philippians 4:13

    You can join the prayers Monday- Fridays at 6am GMT for 30mins via link below. Copy the link to clipboard for ease of access :

    https://us02web.zoom.us/j/6335913172?pwd=MnNlNGhIK0M3TVRWSVliY1ZIeEVtUT09. Passcode: prayer

    Remain blessed, watered and intentional šŸŒ±

  • Exam

    Praying and wishing all the children sitting their exams this month of May all the success they need.

    May they remember what they have revised. May they have peace and confidence in their ability. Above all, we pray that they will know that their worth isnā€™t measured in grades.

    We pray for the parents that they will be supportive and encouraging. May parents be realistic in their expectations. We ask that parents affirm and reassure their children. Lord let your peace, love and calmness invade our homes.

    We stand against any spirit of anxiety, worry, stress, depression, unrealistic expectations, confusion and restlessness. We push back on territorial and seasonal spirits that rise up in this season causing havoc in family life.

    We lift up our schools. May they be places of safety and learning. We ask that you empower the leaders in the schools to be attentive, available, astute and aware of the needs of the children in their schools. Give them the courage to remain open, honesty and transparent to the challenges they face in their schools. When they have done so, please help them to find help and solutions to those needs. Father, help the teachers to know and remember how powerful they are in the lives of the children. As they walk through this exam season, walk with them, with their fears, worries and anxieties. Allow them to realise the fruits of their head work.

    Thank you for our tertiary places of education; colleges, universities and apprenticeships. Help and guide these young adults in their decision making and life preparation. Remind each and everyone of them, that you KNOW their future and you want them to do well. Help them to trust you with their future. Quiten the internal battles and societal expectations. This exam period, help them in all the ways they need this month and beyond.

    Thank you Lord that you hear and answer us. Amen

  • Dear parent

    Saw this on facebook and had to share. While itā€™s advise to people with young children, itā€™s a reminder to us all of how quick time flies and that one day our little babies too will be all grown up.

    When you first have children they talk about the challenges of parentingā€¦.the struggles of a baby waking in the night,
    the toddler who wonā€™t stay in their bed, the cost of childcare, injuries from sportsā€¦

    Having to take off work to pick them up from school when they donā€™t feel well, helping them with homework, a messy house, the never ending laundry, the cost to buy school clothes, packing their lunchesā€¦.

    You watch their eyes light up on Christmas morningā€¦.and try to soak in the magic of those moments.

    You coach them in sports, rushing to practices and ballgamesā€¦and tote them all over the country to let them play the game they loveā€¦no matter how exhausting or expensive it becomes.

    Life is just so busy that you rarely even stop to think what the end of those days look like.

    In fact, itā€™s not really even something you can wrap your mind around.

    You go into it thinking that 18-20 years sounds like a long timeā€¦.

    Then suddenly hours turn into daysā€¦days into monthsā€¦and months into years.

    That little person that used to crawl up next to you in bed and cuddle up to watch cartoonsā€¦suddenly becomes this young adult who hugs you in the hallway as they come and go.

    And the chaos and laughter that used to echo throughout your homeā€¦.gets filled with silence and solitude.

    Youā€™ve learned how to parent a child who needs you to care for and protect themā€¦.but have no clue how the whole ā€œletting goā€ thing is supposed to work.

    So you hold on as tight as you canā€¦wondering how time passed so quicklyā€¦feeling guilty that you missed somethingā€¦.

    Because even though you had 20 yearsā€¦..it just somehow doesnā€™t seem like it was enough.

    You ask yourself so many questionsā€¦

    Did you teach them the right lessons?
    Did you read them enough books as a child?
    Spend enough time playing with them?
    How many school parties did you have to miss?
    Do they really know how much you love them?
    What could I have done better as a parent?

    ā€¦..When itā€™s time for them to go, it all hits you like a ton of bricks.

    And all you can do is prayā€¦.hopeā€¦.and trust that God will protect them as they start to make their way into the world alone.

    Parenting is by far the most amazing experience of your lifeā€¦.that at times leaves you exhilaratedā€¦.while others leave you heartbroken.

    But one thing is certainā€¦..itā€™s never enough timeā€¦šŸ’•

    So for all the parents with young childrenā€¦whose days are spent trying to figure out how to make it through the madnessā€¦
    Exhausted day in and day outā€¦

    Soak. It. All. In.

    Because one dayā€¦.all those crazy days full of cartoons, snuggles, sleep overs, Christmas morning magic, ballgames, practices and late night dinnersā€¦

    All come to an end.

    And youā€™re left hoping that you did enough right, so that when they spread their wingsā€¦.

    Theyā€™ll flyā€¦šŸ’•šŸ’•

  • Resources for families on mental well being

    Lindengate

    Our founder, Fadzai working in collaboration. with the Resilient Women Grouo based at the Lindengate Mental health charity in Wendover had an incredible time.

    Fadzai joined Hafsa, the founder of The resilient well being group to talk about motherhood and wellness. Hafsa was teaching on the drama triangle and how to manage that as mothers

    Fadzai also learnt about the incredible work that lindengate are doing to support people with mental health in Buckinghamshire

    www.mentalhealth.org.uk/sites/default/files/MHF-Scotland-Parents-Pack.pdf

  • Momleader

    Message to my webinar attendees 24.4.2020

    Hope this finds you well. This morning we prayed that God will help us to strengthen the family altar. I truly believe God has called us into a powerful season as mothers in Zion.In this season, God desires for family foundations to be strengthened better than ever. Connecting with our children and partners like never before. That vision will require an unwavering commitment and understanding that with Godā€™s help we can do all things. I pray that you find time to truly connect/ know and understand your child/ren. To be committed to praying and speaking Gods promises concerning them.

    In the mad rush of previous life, we were robbed of those opportunities. May God help us all. Simple things such as eating together at the dinner table with no phones, are powerful. Be committed to conversations at the dinner table. Start with simple questions such as ā€˜how has been your day? what did you like and what didnā€™t you like. Share what you personally enjoyed during the day, what were your struggles and how are you are finding solutions to those challenges.

    Whilst itā€™s tempting to let the children do their own things especially if they are older or even adults, this is a perfect opportunity to effect their lives. Reach out in love. It may be uncomfortable at the start if you are not used to this, believe me, itā€™s worth the try and sticking it out.

    This is also a great time to uproot those teachings in our schools and society. For months some of us were worried about the primary school curriculum. Here we are and itā€™s our opportunity to plant the truth into the hearts and minds of our children. Remember no topic is out of bounds. Talk about friendships, relationships, sex, faith etc. Our children desire to hear our honest opinions on these matters because we are their parents and they look up to us. Yes, I know sometimes it may look as if they donā€™t, listen, they do.

    How about looking back to the family photos albums that have been piling up for years? Itā€™s also a great opportunity to connect. If there are baby photos, share your pregnant journey. If possible, try not to focus on the glossy bits only, share the struggle and upheavals because life is like that.

    Talk about your vision of a family. What do you hope to accomplish as a family.? What values are important to you as a family. For example, mine as a mother family, love and service. I am always encouraging and explaining to my two that family life is important and that value is demonstrated through actions. Things such as the regular video calls to my parents, WhatsApp chats with my siblings and phone calls to the sisters in my life. Relationships are important and we invest time and efforts. My children are fortunate to see some of the impact some of you have in my life.

    May Gods love surround you always. May His peace reign supreme in your homes.

    With love and blessings

    Fadzai šŸŒø