Intentional parenting

Tag: mental health

  • Connected parenting

    Guide for African Migrant Parents: Staying Connected to Your Teenagers

    Parenting as an African migrant comes with unique challenges, especially when raising teenagers in a new culture. Balancing traditional values with the realities of life abroad can create tension, but staying connected with your teen is vital for their growth and maintaining a strong family bond. Here’s a practical guide to help:

    1. Understand Their World

    • Learn About the Local Culture

    Take time to understand the culture your teen is growing up in. This will help you better comprehend their challenges and pressures, such as peer relationships, school dynamics, or social norms.

    Tip: Attend school events or community activities to observe and engage with their environment.

    • Stay Updated on Trends

    Be aware of what interests them—social media, music, fashion, or sports. Ask them about what’s popular and listen without judgment.

    Example: “What’s your favorite app these days? Can you show me how it works?”

    2. Communicate Openly and Often

    • Create a Safe Space

    Teens may hesitate to open up if they fear judgment or punishment. Show empathy and listen without interruption.

    Example: “I may not fully understand, but I want to hear how you feel.”

    • Be Consistent with Check-ins

    Regularly ask about their day, friendships, and feelings. Make conversations a habit, not just when there’s a problem.

    Tip: Have chats during shared activities like cooking, driving, or walking. Eat at the table away from TV and gadgets.

    3. Blend Cultures Positively

    • Teach Them Your Heritage

    Share stories, traditions, and values from your African roots to give them a sense of identity and pride.

    Example: Celebrate cultural festivals or cook traditional meals together. Attend local festivals such as The Zim Heritage Festival, more details here

    • Embrace Their New Environment

    Allow your teen to explore and adopt aspects of their current culture while guiding them to balance both worlds.

    Tip: Celebrate achievements that matter to them, whether it’s excelling in school or pursuing a hobby. Enrol them in after school activities eg sports, drama. You can google your local area or ask your school for some guidance. If you live in Buckinghamshire, you can check the family information website here

    4. Show Affection and Encouragement

    • Acknowledge Their Efforts

    Praise their achievements and effort, no matter how small. Teens crave validation from their parents.

    Example: “I’m proud of how you handled that situation with your friend.”

    • Offer Emotional and Physical Support

    Be available when they’re stressed or need comfort. A simple hug or reassuring words can mean a lot.

    5. Set Boundaries with Love

    • Balance Discipline with Understanding

    Explain the reasoning behind rules instead of enforcing them without context.

    Example: “I’m asking you to come home by 9 PM because I worry about your safety.”

    • Be Flexible When Necessary

    While it’s important to uphold family values, adjust your expectations to fit their realities.

    6. Be Involved in Their Education

    • Engage with Their School Life

    Attend parent-teacher meetings and know their academic strengths and challenges. Show interest in their goals.

    Tip: Ask how you can support them with their studies or extracurricular activities.

    • Encourage Lifelong Learning

    Help them see the value of education, whether academic, vocational, or personal development. Share your own experiences of perseverance. Read together as families. Watch documentaries that are informative and educational.

    7. Handle Conflicts with Care

    • Avoid Comparisons

    Don’t compare them to peers or other teenagers eg. cousins years in Africa. This can make them feel misunderstood.

    • Resolve Disagreements Calmly

    When arguments arise, take a step back to cool off before discussing solutions. Apologize if needed; it models respect and humility.

    8. Build a Support Network

    • Connect with Other Parents

    Join local community groups or parenting networks to share experiences and advice. We have a whatsapp community here at Intentional Parenting to offer support and guidance.

    • Involve Mentors or Elders

    Trusted community members or family friends can reinforce values and offer guidance to your teen.

    9. Foster Independence

    • Give Them Responsibility

    Encourage them to make decisions and learn from their mistakes. This builds confidence.

    • Prepare Them for the Future

    Talk about career paths, finances, and life skills to help them transition into adulthood.

    10. Take Care of Yourself

    • Manage Your Stress

    Parenting is demanding, especially in a new country. Seek support if needed through community resources or counseling. Local authority are also good places to get help. Please don’t stew in your problems with your children.

    For a confidential and non judgemental chat, reach out to Fadzai click here. You can find out more about Fadzai

    • Model Healthy Behavior

    Teens often emulate their parents. Show resilience, adaptability, and a willingness to learn.

    Final Thoughts

    Building a strong relationship with your teenager takes time, patience, and effort. By combining the wisdom of your African heritage with the opportunities of your new environment, you can raise confident, well-rounded children who appreciate their roots and thrive in their new home.

    Wishing you every success in this journey!

    Remain Intentional

    Fadzai 🌱

  • Miles for Mind

    2026 loading bolder, strategic and impactful! Watch the space

    Miles for Minds: Walk & Thrive – Migrant Mental Health Awareness Challenge

    We are really excited to have you join us for the walking challenge this May!

    Walking challenge:

    In a bid to encourage better mental health, we are encouraging MIGRANT parents to participate in the 10k steps a day challenge. You can add this up through jogging, skipping etc. As parents the struggles of raising children in diaspora can impact greatly on your overall well being.

    For those of us who are migrants, the challenges with our mental health is even greater. The stresses of travel and living in a different culture and society cannot be under estimated. World Health Organisation advocates for good mental well being for migrants and refugees, WHO.

    Walking as a form of exercise is well researched to aid good mental wellness. We have chosen walking as its low impact and we want to incorporate meditation into that walking space. More details on the benefits of walking are here

    We are keen to hear and engage fathers, migrant men on this challenge.How are they coping with stresses of living abroad? Please do invite the male figures in your life. For ideas/ comments/ suggestions do get in touch here

    Campaign Objective:

    To promote mental wellness among migrants through daily walking, peer connection, and storytelling, while raising awareness and reducing stigma around migrant mental health issues.

    Target Audience:

    Migrants and refugees in the UK, African and ethnic minority communities, Mental health allies, professionals, and local councils Employers and community organisations.

    Duration:

    1st – 31st May (Mental Health Awareness Month)

    Core Activities:

    Daily Walking Challenge: Participants aim to walk at least 5,000–10,000 steps a day. You can track and share progress via our Strava community or WhatsApp group using the hashtag #MilesForMinds.

    You can join the walking challenge from anywhere. We encourage you to find times that suit you and share your step count with us for motivation and encouragement on strava . You can also join our Facebook page if you prefer.

    On the last Saturday of the month which is 30th, weather permitting we are meeting in Buckinghamshire to celebrate our wins! More details to be shared on Strava.

    2- Meditation Journal

    Yes we have taken to journaling this month as well as part of mental health first aid. For those who believe in the power of God’s word, this is a resource for you. Click here to download the 31day journal that we will be using throughout this month.

    The journal is there to prompt you to take 5mins and jot down how the day went for you. Please use this as part of self care. It’s key to CREATE that 5mins to write down how your day has been.

    We want to demonstrate to our children how we take care of ourselves and that we take mental wellness seriously. Identifying and naming your feelings and emotions is paramount in taking care of your mental health.

    Affirmations

    Others may prefer affirmations to journaling. Feel free to use those above or find an alternative.

    3- MEET UPS

    We are meeting up on the 24th in Milton keynes for a garden workshop. Registration is mandatory and closes on the 15th of May to help with planning. If interested, do register via link or QR code below.

    4- Group walking

    We are going to be using Strava to encourage each other, have a lead board and share some insight. Can’t wait! Please do sign up here and get acquainted to our Strava group ; Miles for Mind.. 😍

    5- Community

    Intentional Parenting UK is home to BOLD and courageous parents. Our 6am community is a place of growing and drawing strength from the giver of all that is good is perfect. We believe in creating SAFE spaces for parents to flourish and that takes intentionality and a willingness to WORK!

    We welcome parents with a heart of service, open minded and who DARE to live unapologetic in their convictions and beliefs. We are not a platform for people who want to watch/ observe or just sit, be prepared to put in the work and this means engaging with other parents contributing to this growing community.

    Check out the rest of our blog on all thing intentional Parenting.

    📌This year promises to be amazing. Do express interest here and will send you the strava link as well to join the walking community.

    Do follow us on facebook and instagram

    Every blessing

    Fadzi x

  • Safeguarding your children as a parent

    Understanding Safeguarding

    Safeguarding refers to the measures taken to protect children from abuse, neglect, exploitation, and harm. It involves promoting their welfare, ensuring they grow up in a safe environment, and taking action when there are concerns about their safety.

    Our founder and director Fadzai is a safeguarding consultant with extensive experience working at senior level in health and social care covering both public and private sector organisations. Full detail on her linkdn

    Key Safeguarding Responsibilities for Parents

    1. Recognising Signs of Abuse and Neglect

    Parents should be aware of potential signs of harm, which can include:

    • Physical abuse: Unexplained bruises, burns, or fractures.

    • Emotional abuse: Low self-esteem, withdrawal, or fearfulness.

    • Sexual abuse: Inappropriate sexual knowledge, fear of a certain person, or secrecy. This includes sexting, where young people send inappropriate images to each other.

    • Neglect: Poor hygiene, malnutrition, or lack of supervision, medical neglect.

    If you suspect abuse, contact your local safeguarding team, GP, school, or social services. You can also call the NSPCC (0808 800 5000) or Childline (0800 1111) for guidance.

    2. Online Safety Measures

    With increasing screen time, safeguarding children online is essential:

    • Use parental controls on devices and apps.

    • Monitor social media activity and set boundaries.

    • Teach children about online dangers, including cyberbullying and grooming.

    • Encourage open discussions so they feel safe reporting concerns.

    3. Supervision and Safe Environments

    • Always know your child’s whereabouts and who they are with.

    • Ensure they have a trusted adult to confide in.

    • Teach them about “stranger danger” while balancing the need to be polite.

    • Ensure babysitters, nannies, or carers are DBS-checked and reputable.

    4. Mental Health and Emotional Well-being

    Children’s mental well-being is just as important as physical health. Look out for:

    • Sudden changes in mood or behaviour.

    • Anxiety, depression, or withdrawal from activities.

    • Self-harm or talk of hopelessness.

    Encourage open conversations and seek professional support through your GP, school counsellors, CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services), or charities like YoungMinds.

    5. Health and Medical Safeguarding

    • Keep up with childhood immunisations.

    • Store medications safely out of children’s reach.

    • Teach basic first aid and when to call 999 in emergencies.

    • Encourage a healthy lifestyle with balanced nutrition and exercise.

    6. Safeguarding in Schools and Activities

    • Ensure schools have strong safeguarding policies and designated safeguarding leads (DSLs).

    • Check that clubs, sports teams, and extracurricular activities follow child protection policies.

    • Encourage children to report bullying or any uncomfortable experiences.

    What to Do If You Have Concerns

    If you suspect a child is at risk, take immediate action:

    1. Report concerns to the school’s DSL, GP, or local safeguarding team.

    2. Contact social services or the police (101 for non-emergency, 999 for urgent danger).

    3. Use national helplines like NSPCC, Barnardo’s, or the Local Safeguarding Children Partnerships (LSCPs)

    Final Thoughts

    Safeguarding is a shared responsibility among parents, caregivers, professionals, and the wider community. By staying informed, creating open conversations, and knowing where to seek help, you can play a vital role in keeping your child safe and supported.

    For further advice, visit:

    • NSPCC: www.nspcc.org.uk

    • Childline: www.childline.org.uk

    • UK Government Safeguarding Guidance: www.gov.uk

    If you need specific advice, advocacy, safeguarding concerns or challenges, feel free to ask. Get in touch with Fadzai here

    Remain intentional

    Fadzai x

  • Parental contribution

    Men often face various barriers to opening up about their struggles, influenced by cultural, psychological, and social factors.

    What tips can we do as parents to support our sons and all the men in our lives to enjoy positive mental wellbeing?

    1. Cultural and Social Norms:
      Men are often socialized to conform to traditional masculine norms, which emphasize strength, stoicism, and self-reliance. Research indicates that these norms discourage emotional expression and vulnerability. For example, Mahalik et al. (2003) found that men who strongly adhere to traditional masculine norms are less likely to seek help and express emotions, as doing so is seen as a sign of weakness . Practical TIP- In our homes we can encourage fathers to role model seeking help and support from family members. We can learn more about mental health presentations and other things that we do not know. -As parents we need to stay current and updated.
    2. Fear of Stigmatization:
      There is a significant stigma attached to mental health issues and emotional vulnerability among men. Vogel et al. (2011) demonstrated that men fear being judged or labeled as weak if they disclose their struggles. This fear of stigmatization leads to a reluctance to discuss their problems or seek professional help. Practical Tip- from a young age, normalise boys struggling with their emotions or being frustrated. For example when they have a melt down, try and refrain from ‘mukomana haadaro’ translated ‘boys don’t do that’
    3. Perceived Inadequacy of Emotional Expression:
      Many men believe they lack the skills to effectively communicate their emotions. Research by Levant et al. (2009) shows that men often feel inadequate in expressing their feelings, partly due to limited emotional vocabulary and the societal expectation to suppress emotions. Practical Tip.. teach all your children on the importance and place of emotion. generally in many African Christian homes, emotions such as anger, sadness, anxiety are not clearly defined but shrouded in religious terms yet we see David in the book of psalms battling these emotions time and time again. Next time you feel anxious about something.. a new job, friendship, interview etc.. vocalise that and demonstrate practical strategies that you are applying to overcome the anxiety eg breathing exercise.. going for a walk, praying, meditation etc.
    4. Concerns About Burdening Others:
      Men often worry about burdening others with their problems, fearing that opening up might negatively impact their relationships or be seen as a drain on others’ emotional resources. Research by Addis and Mahalik (2003) found that men are less likely to discuss personal issues because they do not want to be perceived as a burden to their friends or family.
    5. Lack of Supportive Environments:
      Many men do not have access to supportive environments where they feel safe to express their struggles. A study by Courtenay (2000) highlights that men are less likely to find supportive spaces that encourage open emotional expression, as many social settings for men emphasize competition and emotional restraint over mutual support. Practical Tip- Normalise your children see you BUILDING life giving relationships. Talk about nurturing relationships, identify them together and discuss what makes them special. Who are the two people that you count on in our own life?

    These factors collectively contribute to why men might struggle to open up about their problems, impacting their mental health and well-being. We can change that narrative and it begins in our homes.

    What else can you add?

    Found this useful? Let me know in comment section below. If you need to discuss some of this in depth, do get in touch via this link .

  • Men’s mental health week

    What can we do as mothers to support our son’s mental well being?

    Maintaining good mental health is essential for overall well-being. Here are seven tips for that mothers can role model to their sons to support and improve their mental health:

    1. Open Up About Your Feelings:
    • Talking about your feelings isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a way to take charge of your well-being. Whether it’s with friends, family, or a therapist, sharing your thoughts and emotions can relieve stress and provide new perspectives.

    2.Stay Active:

    • Regular physical activity boosts mood, reduces stress, and improves overall mental health. Aim for at least 30 minutes of exercise most days of the week. Activities like walking, running, or team sports can be particularly beneficial.

    3.Maintain a Healthy Diet:

    • Eating a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains can positively impact your mood and energy levels. Avoid excessive sugar, caffeine, and alcohol.

    4.Build Strong Relationships:

    • Investing time in building and maintaining relationships can provide a valuable support network. Social connections are crucial for emotional support and can help combat feelings of isolation. You can join our facebook community here

    5.Set Realistic Goals:

    • Setting achievable goals provides a sense of purpose and accomplishment. Break larger tasks into smaller, manageable steps and celebrate your progress along the way.
    • 6.Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation:
    • Techniques such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, and yoga can help reduce stress and increase your ability to stay present in the moment. Even a few minutes a day can make a difference.

    7.Seek Professional Help When Needed:

    • If you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed, seeking help from a mental health professional is crucial. Therapists, counselors, and support groups can provide strategies and support to navigate difficult times.

    Prioritizing mental health can lead to a more fulfilling and balanced life. Remember, it’s important to address mental health proactively, just as you would physical health.

  • Self acceptance

    Today our journal reading was on Self acceptance.

    Self-acceptance is a crucial aspect of mental and emotional well-being. Here are some strategies for fostering self-acceptance, along with relevant Bible verses for spiritual encouragement:

    1. Practice Self-Compassion

    Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend.

    • Bible Verse: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32

    2. Focus on Your Strengths

    Identify and celebrate your strengths and achievements, rather than dwelling on weaknesses or failures.

    • Bible Verse: “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4:13

    3. Embrace Your Uniqueness

    Recognize that you are unique and that your individuality is a gift.

    • Bible Verse: “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” – Psalm 139:13-14

    4. Forgive Yourself

    Let go of past mistakes and forgive yourself, understanding that everyone makes errors.

    • Bible Verse: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” – 1 John 1:9

    5. Practice Gratitude

    Regularly reflect on and express gratitude for the positive aspects of your life.

    • Bible Verse: “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:18

    6. Set Realistic Goals

    Set achievable goals and celebrate your progress, no matter how small.

    • Bible Verse: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

    7. Surround Yourself with Supportive People

    Build a community of friends and family who uplift and encourage you. Our intentional parenting whatsapp group is a community of hardworking, committed mothers who are willing to build a village.

    • Bible Verse: “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:11

    8. Take Care of Your Body

    Engage in activities that promote physical health, as this can enhance your mental and emotional well-being. This may we have embarked on #10kintentionalwalk challenge in aid of our mental health.

    • Bible Verse: “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own.” – 1 Corinthians 6:19

    9. Engage in Mindfulness and Prayer

    Practice mindfulness and prayer to center yourself and connect with your spirituality. Our 6am club is a cornerstone and safe space to start the day. We do prayers Monday- Friday 6am-6:30am.

    • Bible Verse: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” – Philippians 4:6

    10. Accept God’s Unconditional Love

    Remember that God’s love for you is unconditional and everlasting.

    • Bible Verse: “Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 8:39

    By integrating these strategies and reflecting on these Bible verses, you can nurture a sense of self-acceptance that is rooted in both personal growth and spiritual understanding.

    Hope this helps.

    stay blessed

    stay intentional 🌱

  • Group walking

    We are walking and praying every Monday- Friday at 7pm in May!

    Last two years we have received resounding positive feedback on the walk and virtual group prayer/ chat and we are so looking forward to the year.

    You have to express interest here

    Why group walking you ask:

    Group walking offers numerous benefits, backed by research evidence:

    1. Social Support: Walking in a group fosters a sense of belonging and social support, which can improve mood and reduce stress. Research published in the Journal of Aging and Physical Activity found that group walking interventions led to significant improvements in social support and mental well-being among older adults.
    2. Accountability: Group walking provides accountability, increasing the likelihood of sticking to an exercise routine. A study published in the Annals of Behavioral Medicine found that participants in a walking group were more likely to adhere to their exercise program compared to those who exercised alone.
    3. Motivation: Group dynamics can enhance motivation levels, encouraging individuals to push themselves further. A study in the British Journal of Sports Medicine showed that group walking interventions led to greater improvements in physical activity levels and fitness compared to individual interventions.
    4. Variety and Enjoyment: Walking with others can make the activity more enjoyable and diverse, leading to increased participation. Research published in the American Journal of Health Promotion demonstrated that group walking programs resulted in higher levels of enjoyment and satisfaction compared to exercising alone.
    5. Improved Health Outcomes: Group walking has been associated with various health benefits, including improved cardiovascular health, weight management, and reduced risk of chronic diseases such as diabetes and hypertension. A systematic review published in the American Journal of Health Promotion concluded that group-based walking interventions have positive effects on physical health outcomes.

    Overall, group walking not only promotes physical activity but also enhances social connectedness and psychological well-being, making it a valuable strategy for improving overall health and quality of life.

    Joining us 1-31st May?

  • Hello May 2024

    Welcome to the incredible and amazing month of May. Join us here at intentionalparenting as we celebrate maternal mental health month.

    We have a few programs and events lined up for you as below:

    1-Walk and Meditation

    In a bid to encourage better mental health, we are encouraging MIGRANT parents to participate in the 10k steps a day challenge. You can add this up through jogging, skipping etc. As parents the struggles of raising children in diaspora can impact greatly on your overall well being. For those of us who are migrants, the challenges with our mental health is even greater. The stresses of travel and living in a different culture and society cannot be under estimated. World Health Organisation advocates for good mental well being for migrants and refugees, WHO.

    Walking as a form of exercise is well researched to aid good mental wellness. We have chosen walking as its low impact and we want to incorporate meditation into that walking space. More details on the benefits of walking are here

    There is an opportunity to connect virtually via whatsapp group call every Monday- Friday 7-7:30pm. GMT. This is a space for encouragement, meditation and connecting with each other. During that time we will be meditating on the things we are doing well, celebrating and amplifying these. We also want to take time exploration the parenting issues we can do better. Furthermore we want to come together in a safe space to share some of our struggles and the stuff that keep us awake at night. In the last couple of years, May has been an incredible month here at Intentional Parenting UK.

    If you have any questions, requests , you can send these to the whatsapp group admin and will make sure that we stand in faith with you for your request. To join the group, click here

    You can join the walking challenge from anywhere. We encourage you to find times that suit you and share your step count with us for motivation and encouragement. You can also join our Facebook page if you prefer something not too intimate as a whatsapp group.

    On the last Saturday of the month which is 25th, we are going to a local mountain here in Buckinghamshire to celebrate and give thanks for all that we would have accomplished in us this month and beyond! Remember faith celebrates before seeing because faith in itself is a confident assurance that God is a man of His word! Paul said this in the book of Hebrews chapter 11 :

    “This is what it means to trust God: We will be sure about the things that we hope for. We will be sure in our minds about things that we cannot even see.”
    ‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭11‬:‭1‬ ‭EASY‬‬

    2- Meditation Journal

    Yes we have taken to journaling this month as well as part of mental health first aid. We are really excited to be embarking on this remarkable journey in May as we look at maternal mental health. Click here to download the 31day journal that we will be using throughout this month.

    The journal is there to prompt you to take 5mins and jot down how the day went for you. Please use this as part of self care. It’s key to CREATE that 5mins to write down how your day has been.

    We want to demonstrate to our children how we take care of ourselves and that we take mental wellness seriously. Identifying and naming your feelings and emotions is paramount in taking care of your mental health.

    3- MEET UPS

    The community and village is key to our overall well being. We have cluster meet ups to share and encourage one another. These meet ups are an opportunity to meet like minded parents and if you join the Whatsapp group this will be a great way to put a face to a name. Virtual meetings are great however in person meet ups are the best.

    We are kicking off with the Buckinghamshire cluster, being the home of Intentional Parenting 😍

    We are meeting up at this incredible gathering of wise women in Milton Keynes. It’s going to be a refreshing time of learning, empowerment and growing. You don’t want to miss this. Be sure to join our whatsapp group so we can connect and coordinate. Do invite your mom friends too.

    We have clusters all around the world primarily;

    Africa:

    -Zimbabwe, South Africa, Tanzania ,

    Middle East:

    -Kuwait

    USA

    -Texas, Atlanta

    Europe

    -UK, Scotland, Ireland, Poland

    4- Prayer Mountain

    Join us on the 25th of May at the Coombe hill here in Buckinghamshire as we take our prayers and petitions to the Mountain.

    Why on the mountain, you may ask:

    Matthew 14:23, “And when he had sent the multitudes away, he went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening was come, he was there alone.”

    Exodus 24: 12 The Lord said to Moses, “Come up to me on the mountain. Stay there, and I will give you the stone tablets with the teachings and the commandments I have written for the people’s instruction.”

    We are excited to be embarking on this and our cluster groups will be undertaking their activities in those respective areas.

    To join the community, use link below: click here

    Intentional Parenting is home to BOLD and courageous parents. Women who are awakened to the call of God in raising Kingdom children. Women who love to walk in the TRUTH. Our 6am club is a place of growing and drawing strength from the giver of all that is good is perfect. We believe in creating SAFE spaces for mothers to flourish and that takes intentionality and a willingness to WORK! We welcome women and mothers with a heart of service, open minded and who DARE to live unapologetic in their convictions and beliefs. General blessers. We are not a platform for people who want to watch/ observe or just sit, be prepared to put in the work and this means engaging with other sisters, contributing to this growing community. For majority of mothers, our facebook page or blog is the best place for you where you can engage with the content at your own pace and time.

    Check out the rest of our blog on all thing intentional Parenting.

    📌For 2025 it promises to be amazing. The challenge is loading and more details will be available this Friday 25th. Do express interest here

    Every blessing

    Fadzi x

  • You are enough

    When you’re feeling like you’re not enough, it’s important to practice self-compassion and employ strategies that help build your self-worth. Here are some strategies you can try:

    1. Practice self-care: Take time for activities that make you feel good, whether it’s exercise, meditation, or engaging in hobbies you enjoy.
    2. Focus on your strengths: Remind yourself of your accomplishments and the unique qualities that make you who you are.
    3. Set realistic goals: Break down big tasks into smaller, achievable steps, and celebrate each milestone you reach along the way.
    4. Surround yourself with supportive people: Spend time with those who appreciate and value you for who you are, and who encourage your personal growth. We have an intentional parenting whatsapp group or facebook you can join here
    5. Challenge negative thoughts: Replace self-doubt with positive affirmations and remind yourself that everyone has moments of self-doubt.
    6. Help others: Volunteering or supporting others in need can help shift your focus away from self-doubt and boost your sense of purpose.
    7. Seek professional help if needed: Consider speaking with a therapist, parenting coach or counselor who can provide guidance and support for improving your self-esteem and self-worth.

    Remember, building self-worth is a gradual process, so be patient and kind to yourself as you work through these strategies.

    If you want to discuss some of this further with Fadzai, do contact via this link

    Remember You are enough!

  • Peri natal Mental Health

    Hey Fa, you have always wanted to be a mum, haven’t you? Stories are told from school friends that you fantasised so much about this role. Yes, I do remember dating my now husband and telling him the names of our 4children. It still remains a running joke in our house. Two have been enough and I am so grateful for their impact and contribution to who I am today 😍

    Today as the world celebrates mother’s day I would like to draw your attention to maternal mental health as well. For many of us, our children are indeed bundles of joy. Our pride and joy. Yet, sometimes that experience can be tricky. I am partnering with the Perinatal Mental Health Partnership to share my story here.

    What do you do when motherhood sends you spiralling into dark tunnels and difficult roads? We do not openly talk about these experiences enough for a number of reasons. Personally, I think like all things parenting/ motherhood, it’s difficult to make sense of what’s happening when things are taking place. By the time you are finally able to make sense of the drama, it’s time to move on and cover the lost ground. And sometimes, that experience isn’t yours alone to own so it becomes difficult to share other people’s experiences. How can you talk about motherhood/ parenting and leave your child/ ren/ spouse/ partner/ husband out of the equation? Many a times, african parenting experiences will also include wider extended family members because we roll like that, right? What about the shame that comes with struggling in parenting?

    Our eldest and only son was born back home in Zimbabwe. Boy, was dearly loved and adored since his quick conception apart from the severe vommitting which lasted forever and I now understand to be hyperemesis gravidarum. You can read more about it here.

    During this pregnancy, I was working out of town, commuting every Friday and Monday from the marital home. I hadn’t envisioned how this would take a toil on my mental and emotional well being. On taking maternity leave I went to be with my parents as per our Shona custom of kusungirwa. You can read more about this fascinating practice here

    I stayed with my parents from 35weeks of my pregnancy till I gave birth. It was wonderful to be back in the family home and with the community that had known me from birth. I had an uneventful labor, although the midwife was rude (story of another day). My mum took her grandma role seriously with such diligence it was fascinating. I was taken care of, not permitted to do much apart from bathing and breastfeeding. It was bliss. I resigned from my job with the hope of finding something local.

    For 6 weeks postpartum, I was ‘fattened’, waited upon and pampered as a new mom by my mum and maternal grandmother. After-all, this was their eldest great grandson. My maternal great grandmother would soon visit and all the 5 generations would gush and give thanks for Gods blessings. That did not stop our son from having colic and being the most unsettled baby in the household. My mom and grandmother used to take turns to cuddle and bhabhu him to sleep which he loved. I remember very well my late grandma laying down to sleep on her tummy with boy was on her back.

    Once I returned to the marital home, I couldn’t bath, eat or do anything due to his crying. Because I was waited on for 6weeks, I wasn’t prepared for juggling motherhood and house chores. Social isolation did not help either as we moved into suburbia. My poor husband did not know how best he could help. Things kinda settled when we finally got a nanny, when son was around 3months old. On reflection, I feel I should not have suffered in silence. But how could I? I did not know or understand what was going on. Gripe water did not work and son blatantly refused formula milk.

    The feeling of overwhelm and sadness was insidious. I felt lost in all the roles life required of me. This was meant to be exciting, fun and fulfilling yet here I was! Hubby tried. We started going for evening jogs together. Then, it was to shift the postpartum baby weight and sure it did. As the months progressed, we would have lunch dates 3times a week near his workplace. This was to give me something to do, create an opportunity to have a proper shower, dress up and show up at his workplace 😍. I just felt so lost. Family and friends empathised with my struggles. My parents would often comment that I missed work and all the freedom it brought ‘Wanga wajaira mari yako’ translating ‘you miss having your own money and financial independence’. That was very true. I applied everywhere for work and jobs were hard to come by.

    A dear friend would invite me for play dates, coffee etc. It worked for a bit. She would have our son and the nanny on valentines just so me and hubby could have couple’s time. It was only a few years later when we met here in UK with this dear friend and we were talking about how much I struggled. It was then and when I was training as a public health nurse that it became clearer that I had suffered from postnatal depression(PND). The good news is though I struggled, I recovered. As the months progressed, it got easier and life became lighter.

    There are many reasons why one may suffer postnatal depression. The Very well offer more insight on PND here very well

    I am writing this to encourage other moms out there. Motherhood is challenging but there is help and resources available. Do not suffer in silence, there is help available. One of the sad things about untreated/ undiagnosed PND is the moments and time lost to love and enjoy your baby. PND can also place a strain on other relationships especially your marriage as your partner struggles to understand or is needed to step up and support you and the baby.

    Friends have since commented that they didn’t know how to help. Family couldn’t understand how and why I would struggle. We ticked all the boxes for a blessed life, yet here I was. I would have loved for people to ask me, ‘are you ok?’

    If someone you know is struggling, please ask. At most let them know you are available and willing to be contacted if they need anything. In this age of busyness, many people struggle on their own as they do not want to bother other people. It should not be. Look out for your family and friends. Be a sister’s keeper. Check in on loved ones. A phone call or text doesn’t cost much.

    So what can one do if you feel you are struggling as a mum?

    📌Talking about your feelings: Talking your feelings through with someone is a start. For most couples talking to your spouse/ partner ideally, should be the first point of call. By talking it through together, it aids the transitioning journey to be in synergy. Sometimes, he may not be the best candidate to talk to, maybe due to work pressures or lack of insight. My husband did the practical bits ( coming home on time to cook and relieve me so I could have a shower). However, he never confronted my emotions and how overwhelmed I felt and looked. He just did not know how to and so were my family and friends. Here in UK, Your GP is a point of call and s/he can signpost you to the necessary services. Midwife and health visitors are also best placed to support you.

    📌Treatment: there are a variety of treatment options available. You can explore this with your GP/ health provider.

    📌Community/ cultural groups. These groups, if well run, are fantastic for offering a sense of belonging and well being. The challenge from a professional point of view, is that they can be a stumbling block to cultural integration. Some of the groups do not offer parenting courses, support groups etc. The Intentional Parenting Community exists to support African migrant families who sometimes want to talk to someone who understands ‘where you are coming from’. Indeed parenting practices differ globally. Our 6am club is a faith/ prayer club for mums who want a safe place to build relationships, pray and center their day. The club runs term time only, Monday -friday 6am-6:30am GMT via zoom. Anyone is free to join. You can connect via this link. Our webinars are also a great resource to learn, ask questions and be equipped as a parent. More details coming soon for the webinar sessions.

    ✨Motherhood groups/ networks are key for supporting the journey. Our upcoming luncheon is one such example of mothers coming together to share, laugh, learn, network and support each other. More details here

    Would love to hear if any of this resonated with you. Please do share widely with your networks.

    Every blessing.

    Fadzai x

    RESOURCES

    COLIC: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/colic/

    Post Natal Depression: pnd

    Perinatal Mental Health Partnership : https://perinatalmhpartnership.com/

    Talking Therapy: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/talking-therapies-medicine-treatments/talking-therapies-and-counselling/nhs-talking-therapies/

    Black Mind Matters https://www.blackmindsmatteruk.com/