Intentional parenting

Tag: life

  • Loving your children

    As a working migrant community, creating time to bond with your children is very important.

    Our children are competing for our attention with Shifts, black tax, social media, our mobile phones parental fatigue and stress. So what can we do?

    Below are 5 tips that I have used myself and many other parents I work with , with positive results.

    1. Establish a Morning or Evening Ritual

    • Use the time before or after your shifts to bond. For example, have breakfast together or create a bedtime routine like reading a story, talking about the day, or sharing a quick prayer or song. This creates consistency and helps your child feel connected. Eat at the dinner table with no TV on. For those who work long shifts, connect via whatsapp, face time etc. Have a virtual catch up , negotiate your break times so you can connect with your children.

    2. Maximize Your Days Off

    • Dedicate your off days to family-focused activities like visiting parks, museums, or simply cooking and eating together. Plan these activities ahead of time to make the most of them. Involve your child in choosing the activities to build anticipation and excitement. Most National Trust places are very good for spending time as a family. More detail here

    3. Incorporate Quality Moments into Everyday Tasks

    • Turn chores or errands into fun bonding opportunities. For instance, involve your children in meal prep or grocery shopping by assigning them small tasks, like picking ingredients or organizing items at home. Play music while cooking, share your childhood playlist with them and what it was like growing up. Let them share their own playlist as well, who is their favourite artist? You will be killing so many birds with this activity from family history, present culture to understanding each others likes. Enjoy!

    4. Use Technology Thoughtfully

    • If you work long shifts or overnight, use video calls to check in during breaks or before bedtime. Leave a heartfelt message or short video for them to watch when they wake up if you’re not there.

    5. Focus on Active Listening During Limited Time

    • When you’re with your children, give them your full attention. Ask open-ended questions about their day and feelings. Avoid distractions like your phone, so they feel valued and understood. Here at intentional parenting we did a challenge a few years ago where we encouraged parents to leave their phones upstairs the first hour they get home from work. This challenge yielded incredible results. Would you try it?,

    6. It’s very important to extend grace and compassion to yourself as a parent during tough seasons of parenting. May be you are a lone parent, establish a community around you to help. Be clear and communicate your VISION as a parent so your children can understand and marry into it. If you need help to put strategies in place , speak to someone or just get some advice , get in touch with Fadzai

    Balancing work and parenting is challenging, but intentional efforts can help you stay close to your children and nurture their emotional well-being.

    What else can you add to this?

    Every blessing

    Fadzai x

  • Dear son/ daughter in law

    I am praying for you. Yes I know it will be a while before we meet you. However I am excited and expectant at the prospect of you joining our family. I also want you to know that I am doing the ground work in your future spouse. I am praying and having lots of introspective conversations.

    It is my prayer that you both thrive in this. Below is my prayer for you. I will be praying this over you now and always.

    Lord I thank you for my future son/ daughter in law.

    I come before You today with a heart full of hope and trust in Your perfect plans. I lift up in prayer the future spouse of my child. I ask for Your guidance and blessing upon their life even now, as they journey towards the time when they will meet and join our family.

    Lord, I pray for their character:

    “Create in them a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within them” (Psalm 51:10). May they grow in integrity, kindness, and love, reflecting Your nature in all they do.

    Guide their steps, Lord

    “I ask that they trust in You with all your heart and lean not on their own understanding; in all thier ways submit to You, and You will make their paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6). Direct their choices and lead them on a path of righteousness.

    Bless their relationships:

    “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8). Surround them with friendships that encourage and uplift, and help them to grow in love and understanding.

    Strengthen their faith:

    “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful” (Colossians 3:15). Draw them close to You, that their faith may be firm and their trust in You unshakeable.

    Prepare their hearts for marriage:

    “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). Teach them the true meaning of love and equip them with the qualities that will make them a wonderful spouse.

    Grant them wisdom and discernment:

    “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you” (James 1:5). Help them to make wise decisions that honor You and bless their future marriage.

    Thank You, Lord, for hearing my prayer. I trust in Your timing and Your plans, and I look forward to the day when we will welcome this special person into our family.

    In Jesus’ name, Amen.

    If you have prayed or are praying, do share in comment section below. I want to join my faith with your regarding the future of our children.

    God bless you.

  • Self acceptance

    Today our journal reading was on Self acceptance.

    Self-acceptance is a crucial aspect of mental and emotional well-being. Here are some strategies for fostering self-acceptance, along with relevant Bible verses for spiritual encouragement:

    1. Practice Self-Compassion

    Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend.

    • Bible Verse: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32

    2. Focus on Your Strengths

    Identify and celebrate your strengths and achievements, rather than dwelling on weaknesses or failures.

    • Bible Verse: “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4:13

    3. Embrace Your Uniqueness

    Recognize that you are unique and that your individuality is a gift.

    • Bible Verse: “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” – Psalm 139:13-14

    4. Forgive Yourself

    Let go of past mistakes and forgive yourself, understanding that everyone makes errors.

    • Bible Verse: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” – 1 John 1:9

    5. Practice Gratitude

    Regularly reflect on and express gratitude for the positive aspects of your life.

    • Bible Verse: “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:18

    6. Set Realistic Goals

    Set achievable goals and celebrate your progress, no matter how small.

    • Bible Verse: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

    7. Surround Yourself with Supportive People

    Build a community of friends and family who uplift and encourage you. Our intentional parenting whatsapp group is a community of hardworking, committed mothers who are willing to build a village.

    • Bible Verse: “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:11

    8. Take Care of Your Body

    Engage in activities that promote physical health, as this can enhance your mental and emotional well-being. This may we have embarked on #10kintentionalwalk challenge in aid of our mental health.

    • Bible Verse: “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own.” – 1 Corinthians 6:19

    9. Engage in Mindfulness and Prayer

    Practice mindfulness and prayer to center yourself and connect with your spirituality. Our 6am club is a cornerstone and safe space to start the day. We do prayers Monday- Friday 6am-6:30am.

    • Bible Verse: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” – Philippians 4:6

    10. Accept God’s Unconditional Love

    Remember that God’s love for you is unconditional and everlasting.

    • Bible Verse: “Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 8:39

    By integrating these strategies and reflecting on these Bible verses, you can nurture a sense of self-acceptance that is rooted in both personal growth and spiritual understanding.

    Hope this helps.

    stay blessed

    stay intentional 🌱

  • Intentional Parenting affirmations challenge

    Every month of November we are taking the positive affirmation challenge.

    Research on affirmations suggests that they can have a positive impact on the brain, influencing areas related to self-worth, self-integrity, and cognitive processing. Studies indicate that practicing affirmations may help in reducing stress, enhancing resilience, and improving overall well-being. They can also contribute to a more positive mindset, increased self-esteem, and a stronger sense of control over one’s life.

    We are encouraging parents to speak positively in the lives of your children. Most of you may already be doing this. What we are emphasising is the power of spoken words into the hearts and minds of your children.

    💡Tip

    You may also want to draw out traits that you need to see more in your child. For instance you may have a child who has either of these traits; fearful , indecisive, anxious, unkind, disorganised, confused, hanging with wrong crowds, lazy, indifferent, distracted, etc.

    Speak into those traits eg where there is laziness, speak diligence, commitment etc. Talk about it with your child in a sensitive and respectful manner:

    “I see you struggle to get things done. How can I help you?”

    Listen to their suggestions and be willing to work with them. Put practical strategies to support with what needs to happen. If you identify something that you nee help with, do get in touch with Fadzai via this link

    Talk about the challenge and how you are keen to support and make a difference as a parent.

    If your child is old enough, ask if there is anything that they need you to focus/ support or pray into?

    The idea of the challenge is to make it your own and meaningful as much as possible.

    We understand the power of the SPOKEN word especially when said in faith!

    Goal

    These are some potential goals for this challenge focused on intentional parenting:

    1. Encouraging parents to prioritize quality time and meaningful interactions with their children in order to foster strong emotional bonds and promote positive child development.
    2. Empowering parents to practice mindful, conscious parenting techniques that prioritize understanding, empathy, and effective communication, fostering a supportive and nurturing family environment.
    3. Promoting the importance of setting clear boundaries and consistent discipline strategies to help children develop self-discipline, responsibility, and healthy decision-making skills, ultimately contributing to their overall well-being and character development.
    4. Highlighting the significance of promoting emotional intelligence and resilience in children through intentional conversations, positive reinforcement, and modeling healthy emotional expression, thus equipping them with essential life skills for managing and navigating their emotions effectively.

    What you need for this challenge is to speak these AFFIRMING words into your child. If you are christian we encourage you to do it prayerfully.

    I encourage you to be creative, wild and think outside the box on how you want to do this.

    Below are examples of what you can do:

    Bedroom door.

    Affirmation JAR

    Choose a consistent time that works for you and your household. For example, a working from home parent may choose a time when the child/ ren are at school to surprise them when they come home each day with an affirmative word.

    Another parent may choose to share the word with child, pray together into that Affirmative word and may ask the child to stick it on the door.

    📌Do what works well for you and your child.

    Encourage the teens and young adults living at home to participate. Let them know you are taking the challenge. With this cohort of children, they may not be overly interested, do not lose heart. They need these WORDS more than than you can imagine. For Christian parents, you may want to pray into their rooms on your own each day using that AFFIRMATIVE word and then stick it on their bedroom door.

    For those of you with a children who share a bedroom, use different coloured post notes for each child so you can differentiate.

    If you do not have post it notes, use plain paper and coloured pen/ markers/ highlighters/ eg black pen, green, red or blue.

    Some of you may prefer to use digital notes. Use what is easier and best for you. This may work well with children who are not living at home may be in boarding schools, college, uni or left the nest altogether.

    Be as creative and wild as you want with this.

    As a parent remember to speak positively to yourself as well:

    I am a loving parent

    I am doing a great job

    I am raising the future

    I am the best parent for my child

    I am learning

    I am enough

    I am growing

    I am impactful

    I am open minded

    I am qualified to parent.

    I love what I do.

    The Challenge

    “Positive Parenting Affirmation Challenge”
    “🌟✨ Join our #IntentionalParentingAffirmationChallenge #IPAC and share your daily affirmations for a happier, more fulfilling parenting journey! Let’s uplift our children and spread the joy of positive parenting one affirmation at a time.

    🌈 Tag us and inspire others to embrace the power of positivity! Use these hashtags #ParentingPositivity #Affirmations #IntentionalParenting #IPAC

    Follow Intentional parenting socials via links below for updates and inspiration.

    Do share with your friends, families and colleagues.

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/intentionalparentings

    Instagram : I’m on Instagram as intentional_parenting. https://www.instagram.com/invites/contact/?i=1ja8yyio9fp65&utm_content=3bmfqzz

  • Brethren

    Stumbled upon this verse and I have to admit, I was astounded!

    Astounded maybe because of my inadequacies, my flawed inability to stand long enough together with fellow bethren to see their prayers answered. Yet the Lord commands us to ‘stand together UNTIL”.

    When was the last time you stood in faith with someone for those things that He answered in your own life?

    #purpose

    #bethrenhood 🙏🏽❤

  • Wise parents

    Who are you walking with in this season?
    Who are those wise friends helping you as a parent? The friends who are caring, thoughtful, encouraging and sencire.

    📌Find 3 friends that you trust, love and admire.Friends you can be vulnerable and honest with.

    🙏🏽Pray for them and their families faithfully. Ask God to use them in your life in a powerful way. Pray that you will be a great friend too.

    ❤️Let them know that you appreciate their friendship.

    💫Be #intentional in cultivating that relationship through spending time and encouraging one another.

    By doing that, we are role modelling to our children what it means to be a #FaithfulFriend.

    Remain intentional 🌱

  • Exam

    Praying and wishing all the children sitting their exams this month of May all the success they need.

    May they remember what they have revised. May they have peace and confidence in their ability. Above all, we pray that they will know that their worth isn’t measured in grades.

    We pray for the parents that they will be supportive and encouraging. May parents be realistic in their expectations. We ask that parents affirm and reassure their children. Lord let your peace, love and calmness invade our homes.

    We stand against any spirit of anxiety, worry, stress, depression, unrealistic expectations, confusion and restlessness. We push back on territorial and seasonal spirits that rise up in this season causing havoc in family life.

    We lift up our schools. May they be places of safety and learning. We ask that you empower the leaders in the schools to be attentive, available, astute and aware of the needs of the children in their schools. Give them the courage to remain open, honesty and transparent to the challenges they face in their schools. When they have done so, please help them to find help and solutions to those needs. Father, help the teachers to know and remember how powerful they are in the lives of the children. As they walk through this exam season, walk with them, with their fears, worries and anxieties. Allow them to realise the fruits of their head work.

    Thank you for our tertiary places of education; colleges, universities and apprenticeships. Help and guide these young adults in their decision making and life preparation. Remind each and everyone of them, that you KNOW their future and you want them to do well. Help them to trust you with their future. Quiten the internal battles and societal expectations. This exam period, help them in all the ways they need this month and beyond.

    Thank you Lord that you hear and answer us. Amen

  • Dear parent

    Saw this on facebook and had to share. While it’s advise to people with young children, it’s a reminder to us all of how quick time flies and that one day our little babies too will be all grown up.

    When you first have children they talk about the challenges of parenting….the struggles of a baby waking in the night,
    the toddler who won’t stay in their bed, the cost of childcare, injuries from sports…

    Having to take off work to pick them up from school when they don’t feel well, helping them with homework, a messy house, the never ending laundry, the cost to buy school clothes, packing their lunches….

    You watch their eyes light up on Christmas morning….and try to soak in the magic of those moments.

    You coach them in sports, rushing to practices and ballgames…and tote them all over the country to let them play the game they love…no matter how exhausting or expensive it becomes.

    Life is just so busy that you rarely even stop to think what the end of those days look like.

    In fact, it’s not really even something you can wrap your mind around.

    You go into it thinking that 18-20 years sounds like a long time….

    Then suddenly hours turn into days…days into months…and months into years.

    That little person that used to crawl up next to you in bed and cuddle up to watch cartoons…suddenly becomes this young adult who hugs you in the hallway as they come and go.

    And the chaos and laughter that used to echo throughout your home….gets filled with silence and solitude.

    You’ve learned how to parent a child who needs you to care for and protect them….but have no clue how the whole “letting go” thing is supposed to work.

    So you hold on as tight as you can…wondering how time passed so quickly…feeling guilty that you missed something….

    Because even though you had 20 years…..it just somehow doesn’t seem like it was enough.

    You ask yourself so many questions…

    Did you teach them the right lessons?
    Did you read them enough books as a child?
    Spend enough time playing with them?
    How many school parties did you have to miss?
    Do they really know how much you love them?
    What could I have done better as a parent?

    …..When it’s time for them to go, it all hits you like a ton of bricks.

    And all you can do is pray….hope….and trust that God will protect them as they start to make their way into the world alone.

    Parenting is by far the most amazing experience of your life….that at times leaves you exhilarated….while others leave you heartbroken.

    But one thing is certain…..it’s never enough time…💕

    So for all the parents with young children…whose days are spent trying to figure out how to make it through the madness…
    Exhausted day in and day out…

    Soak. It. All. In.

    Because one day….all those crazy days full of cartoons, snuggles, sleep overs, Christmas morning magic, ballgames, practices and late night dinners…

    All come to an end.

    And you’re left hoping that you did enough right, so that when they spread their wings….

    They’ll fly…💕💕

  • Our children and their sexual health

    IMG_7575Webinar 3.10.18

    Growing up in Zimbabwe, sex was a taboo and not talked about. The expectation was that one should stay pure and be a virgin till married. Talking to a few moms, highlights that abstinence was never the case. Yes, most women got married to the men that they were sexually active with but they were engaging in the act way before marriage. It was felt that if someone had talked openly about sex, possibly things could have been done  differently. The fact that it was done behind parents’ back, made it a sinful act and that transcended into marriage thereby making marital sex complex in some instances.

    This then poses the question’ how best can we prepare our own children to have good sexual health?’

    According to the World Health Organisation, sexual health is defined as:

    “…a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. For sexual health to be attained and maintained, the sexual rights of all persons must be respected, protected and fulfilled.” (WHO, 2006a)

       “Sexual health encompasses more than the act of having sex”

     

    The implications of poor sexual health are recognised as early pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections as well as sexual abuse. What makes sexual health even more complex is ease of accessibility. The online world poses ,many challenges for parents and pornography is rampant (NSPCC).

    With that definition we realised that the topic is very broad and needed to be streamlined. We then focussed on how do you talk to your child/ren about sexual health?

    We agreed that there is the need to be honest, transparent, graceful and open-minded. We acknowledged that our upbringing, values and beliefs can be a challenge in embracing our children’s experiences especially where sex before marriage is concerned.

     

    One of the strategies used in talking about this complex topic is using current affairs. If there is a program on television, use it as a conversation tool to explore the child’s understanding of sexual health. It is our responsibility as parents to talk to our children about this matter.

    As parents we should aspire for our children to remain pure until they get married. A good question was asked about’ what do I do if my children admits to being sexually active, how do I handle such a matter when s/he is living in my house and not married.

                                  What would Jesus do?

    That was the question of the evening for us all to consider as parents/ mothers of faith. Dealing with this disclosure requires being composed and not being shocked as well as offering reassurance. We agreed that extending love, compassion is key to keeping the line of communication open. Acknowledging that there is a good and trusting relationship is a bonus and credit to the mother-child relationship. Whilst we may worry about STI’s, pregnancy, sexual abuse, using that window of trust can be a good opportunity to empower the young person with this risky behaviour. If a mother feels that they can’t breach the topic with the child, it was suggested that finding another person that the young person can talk to is important.

     

    Our children want o hear our own personal experiences. Schools and other institutions may well be teaching our children different things to our value system We admitted that whilst it may be uncomfortable,  we should be willing to be honest and vulnerable with our children without jeopardising our relationship and position as parent. Talking to our children about soul ties, early pregnancies, STI’s and the joy of waiting for the right person is key.

    A lot of the challenges with face as parents are to do with fear of being judged and shame. We encouraged one another, that our children belong to us and not for the society or community. Prayer remains a foundation and strategy of choice in raising our children. We continue to pray for them and ourselves as we partner with the Lord in bringing them up.

    We remain hopeful x

  • Choice

    Day 6

    May your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears’ Nelson

    Some days I wake up with an enormous sense responsibility in raising our children to be everything that they are meant to be. That can be crippling when the what if’s are glaring at you. I do not know about you but those moments can easily leave us in a place of fear when we look at what is around us and what is happening around the globe. I want to challenge you today and say mamma choose hope in place of fear.

    Hope is trusting, hope is believing in the beauty of the future with resounding confidence, and that’s what we bestow upon our children. My prayer for you today is that the Lord fill you to overflow with hope as you continue to trust Him.

    I pray that you will choose faith. Faith to know that you are qualified and equipped to raise your children. You have it in you. Look deep inside yourself. Faith to reach out in confident surrender when it all gets too much, which it does many a times depending where you are in your journey.

    Above all, I pray that you will choose love. That, you will love yourself, yes, you. Love you more, appreciate you more, be in love with you. I believe when we do that, we give others permission to love us and love us better.

    ♥️🙏🏽