Intentional parenting

Tag: grace

  • Diaspora diaries: My children and their education-supporting exam time.

    Webinar

    Below are the tips we shared on supporting your children.

    God has called us into a *living* relationship with Him and those around us especially our families, children in particular.

    By investing time, we are able to be effective in supporting their journey into their growth.

    – Loving them despite and beyond the grades is key.

    – Love propels us to invest time in prayer for them.

    – Supporting them with their studies throughout the year is more important than exam day.

    – Speak to their teachers, be involved at school.

    – For most of us, the education system is a whole new experience. Seek to learn from others, ask questions, be open and willing to learn.

    – Let’s be sensitive and empathetic towards other parents who may seem to be struggling at school.

    –

    Here are seven effective strategies:

    1. Create a Study-Friendly Environment

    •Why: A quiet, organized space helps concentration and reduces distractions.

    •How:

    • Dedicate a specific area for studying, free from noise and clutter.

    • Provide good lighting, comfortable seating, and necessary stationery.

    • Encourage short, focused study sessions using the Pomodoro technique (25 minutes of work, 5 minutes of break).

    2. Establish a Study Routine

    •Why: A consistent routine reduces anxiety and builds productive habits.

    •How:

    • Work together to create a realistic revision timetable, balancing core subjects and weaker areas.

    • Include regular breaks and time for relaxation to prevent burnout.

    • Monitor progress and adjust the plan if needed.

    3. Manage Phone and Social Media Usage

    •Why: Phones and social media can be major distractions during study time.

    •How:

    • Agree on “phone-free” study times and use apps like Forest or Focus Booster to block distractions.

    • Designate times for social media use, ideally during breaks or after study sessions.

    • Lead by example by minimizing your own screen time during family hours.

    4. Encourage a Balanced Lifestyle

    •Why: Physical activity, sleep, and a healthy diet improve focus and reduce stress.

    •How:

    • Promote regular exercise, such as walks, yoga, or sports.

    • Ensure they get 8-9 hours of sleep each night by setting consistent bedtimes.

    • Provide nutritious meals and encourage hydration, avoiding excess caffeine or sugary snacks.

    5. Offer Emotional Support

    •Why: GCSEs can be stressful, and children need to feel supported and understood.

    •How:

    • Listen to their concerns without judgment and offer reassurance.

    • Avoid comparing them to peers or siblings.

    • Celebrate small achievements to boost their confidence and motivation.

    6. Encourage Active Revision Techniques

    •Why: Passive studying is less effective than active learning.

    •How:

    • Suggest methods like mind maps, flashcards, practice exams, and teaching concepts to others.

    • Use online resources, such as GCSEPod, BBC Bitesize, or Seneca Learning, to diversify study approaches.

    • Discuss difficult topics together to help them articulate their understanding.

    7. Model a Growth Mindset

    •Why: A positive attitude can reduce anxiety and encourage perseverance.

    •How:

    • Emphasize effort over results: “It’s about doing your best, not being perfect.”

    • Share examples from your own life where persistence led to improvement.

    • Remind them that setbacks are learning opportunities, not failures.

    Bonus Tip: Stay Involved

    Regularly check in on their progress and well-being without micromanaging. Balance support with independence to build their confidence in managing their responsibilities.

  • Who takes care of the mother?

    Teen diaries; the fun, friends and frustrations.

    I had a new found respect for my mother the first time I became a mom 22years ago. Now that I am parenting two young adults, I adore and I am eternally grateful to both my parents. I have always maintained that my parents had it easy, I was in boarding school throughout my teen years, so they experienced NATHING!

    I love being a mom to our two, however going through their emotional roller coaster can take a toil sometimes.

    Most days, I am not sure whats worse, our somewhat quiet and reserved son or my extrovert, strong and opinionated daughter.

    With teen girls, the social aspect tend to take a massive turn. Life centres around she said and I said! O how I have to deal and cope with that. Having attended boarding school myself, I seem to lack the skills and knowledge to do that.

    So who takes care of the mother?

    Would love to hear your opinions, advice and strategies 🤣

  • Hey Q

    Prayer for my son on your birthday


    Becoming your mama was and continues to be my greatest legacy. Growing together has been exhilarating, exciting and challenging at most times. Can’t wait for what the future holds. Intentional parenting is you son. Thank you for the many lessons learnt that I get to share with other parents. Thank you for your patience as I continually learn how to mother you better. Thank you for your understanding that at most times, I am winging it with you. Thank you for the grace you extend when I am able to get it right with your sister. I love being your mama.
    So today on your birthday I pray that you continually know who you are in God’s eyes. I pray that your light will shine brighter before your generation. I pray that you never have to doubt yourself, second guess Gods purpose and capabilities that are in you. I pray that you will continue to rest in the love we have for you as your parents. I ask God to lead and guide you all the days of your life. Above all I pray that you will walk in Gods purpose, utilising all the gifts and talents that God has given you. I pray for your friends who are your greatest social capita, that they would love you sincerely, be there for you faithfully and that they would encourage you in all things. Quinton, I pray that in all things you will allow your faith to speak louder than your fears.

    Thank you for being an exceptional man of God. A man of integrity and honour. Your diligence and fortitude is admirable. Your mind is beautiful son. I am deeply honoured to not only love but raise you. I promise to continuously learn and dedicate my life to being your steward and Gods servant into your life.

    Love you always MaiQ.

  • Brethren

    Stumbled upon this verse and I have to admit, I was astounded!

    Astounded maybe because of my inadequacies, my flawed inability to stand long enough together with fellow bethren to see their prayers answered. Yet the Lord commands us to ‘stand together UNTIL”.

    When was the last time you stood in faith with someone for those things that He answered in your own life?

    #purpose

    #bethrenhood 🙏🏽❤

  • Love

    12.10.2021

    God loves you and me just as we are. Today He beckons us to receive this undiluted love. Love that is unconditional, pure and sacrificial.
    Would you recieve it?

    It is out of this overflow that we are able to share it with others.

    Father, move in me. Cleanse and purify my heart from things that easily stops me from receiving from you.
    I lay down my past hurts, disappointments, heartbreaks and frustrations . I open myself fully to receiving that which You have for me.
    Let your love flow through my veins.
    The love that is kind, patient, hopeful, faithful led and forgiving. The love that suffers long and endures all things. Remove every lie of the enemy and the lies that I have told myself. The expectations of men, society and the world.

    Today I walk in the newness of Your love. Your perfect love that is silencing very fear worry and anxiety in my life. Amen

    Receive His love anew today. Let it flow through you.

    Remain blessed and loved ❤️

  • Flourish

    This was our Word for the month of September 2019. Back then, I had received 3 indoor plants in one month. I began to sense that there was a deeper meaning to the random gifts friends gave me.

    I am in no way, shape or form good with plants. One friend said ‘ the more reason why I am gifting you plants’. Talk of being stretched 😂

    I struggled with a particular plant a bit and had to run back to the giver. She advised me to CAREFULLY trim the dead parts of the leaf, feed the plants organic home food and watch. The organic home fertiliser comprised of overnight soaked banana peels, egg shells and tea bag.

    To my amazement, the plant started to thrive.

    Rejoice

    This was my latest gift, Rejoice and I loved her!

    I felt the law of seeding and harvesting was at work in that season. Seeding, weeding, nurturing and tending to plants requires careful attention as well as commitment. The harvest is bountiful to those who will do the work right?

    “Lord strengthen my hands in place of hard labour(parenting). Help me not to shrink back or give up. Allow my entrusted plants (children) to flourish through careful considerations.”

    Isn’t it amazing that this plant analogy also translates to our role as parents! Many of us we are not confident in this area. We are not sure what fertiliser to apply, how much moisture and where to place the plant so it can thrive and blossom. All this guesswork and stress levels 🤣🤣.

    What I have found to be useful is having that trustworthy and well informed friend. Remember that passionate green fingered friend of mine forever gifting plants? Yes, her! Each time I visit her house she has got this new plant, that other plant and they are ALL blossoming. Interestingly, she tells me that she reads a lot about these plants before she buys them. She is careful to follow instructions around watering, plant feed and placement. She chuckles every time I tell her the plant she gifted me has died..

    While google is available to all of us, my understanding, patience and interests are clearly not strong in plants. Despite my desire and keenness to have an instagram inspired green house of a living room, it just isn’t happening!

    l

    My friend do not shy away from asking. Asking trusted friends to show, guide and lead m. Reach out to others who can help.

    The upcoming intentional parenting Masterclass , is a 6 weeks online crash course on being the effective parent leader that you want to be. More details following soon. There is tons of information available out there, sometimes too much and too overwhelming. Where does one even start to look and who are trusted and qualified people to help?

    Intentional parenting stands as a TRUSTED friend who understands some of the complexities and challenges that come with raising children in diaspora. Our strategies are informed by research evidence as well as personal experiences.

    We look forward to seeing you FLOURISH in your journey as a parent.

    To find out more, get in touch here, via our contact page.

    Remain in bloom 🌷

    Fadzai x

  • Wise parents

    Who are you walking with in this season?
    Who are those wise friends helping you as a parent? The friends who are caring, thoughtful, encouraging and sencire.

    📌Find 3 friends that you trust, love and admire.Friends you can be vulnerable and honest with.

    🙏🏽Pray for them and their families faithfully. Ask God to use them in your life in a powerful way. Pray that you will be a great friend too.

    ❤️Let them know that you appreciate their friendship.

    💫Be #intentional in cultivating that relationship through spending time and encouraging one another.

    By doing that, we are role modelling to our children what it means to be a #FaithfulFriend.

    Remain intentional 🌱

  • Morning Devotion

    Thank you to those who joined this morning. The prayers continue Monday- fridays at 6am GMT for 30mins via zoom.

    Today, one of our sisters and #momfriend, led us into praying for ourselves as mothers, to be vessels used in our children’s lives.


    Like Moses with the children of Israel, God is asking you, what do you have in your hand? Moses felt inadequate, ill- prepared and unqualified for the assignment ahead of him. Sounds familiar?

    Often times as parents we can feel out depth, inadequate and challenged by the demands of parenting. God is saying to you mom, dad…

    What do you have?

    Yes I know you lack the knowledge, language, understanding. What is it that you have? I want to use what you already have!

    The patience, love, joy, hope, aspiration, dreams and visions that you have towards your child/ren, let me use that! Give it to me. Allow my spirit to search deep within you and REVEAL some of the hidden capacities that I have put in you.
    it’s those hidden things you possess that I want to use for my glory as you impact and empower your children.

    Prayer:

    Lord reveal to me what’s in my hand and heart so I can be of use to You. Show me the capabilities and capacity you have given me. Open my spiritual eyes to see. Thank you Holy Spirit for equipping and empowering me as a parent. Amen”

    Reading

    Luke 10:19
    Mathew 16:19
    2Peter 1:3
    Philippians 4:13

    You can join the prayers Monday- Fridays at 6am GMT for 30mins via link below. Copy the link to clipboard for ease of access :

    https://us02web.zoom.us/j/6335913172?pwd=MnNlNGhIK0M3TVRWSVliY1ZIeEVtUT09. Passcode: prayer

    Remain blessed, watered and intentional 🌱

  • Hello August

    August is always such a beautiful month for me . In my native country of Zimbabwe, August is spring time. It represents the budding and springing you of new things. I get excited!

    Growing up, August was always school holidays. It meant visiting my maternal grandmother in the country side, being spoilt on farm produce and then attending the annual Harare Agricultural Show. It was such a highlight across the country as farmers show cased their produce. There were games, rides , food, music, fireworks you name it.,

    August is also our wedding anniversary month. It’s such a time filled with celebrations and love.

    As I have gotten older and matured in my spiritual walk, I tend to seek Gods word for this new month and for my birthday. I take time to pray, read the word and fast ahead of my birthday. I have to admit that the past 6years it has been phenomenal. On most occasions, my cousin sister has joined or invited me to a fast ahead of my birthday. Having someone to journey with and hold you accountable makes such a difference.

    I have seen situations shift in such a phenomenal way. I have also been given clear directions through scriptures or words from two other women that God tends to use in my life. I am grateful for their lives and obedience to God.

    As such this year is no different. If anything, we have never needed Gods direction like we do in this unprecedented year of 2020.

    Below is my prayer for August. Why don’t you join me in making those declarations;

    “Lord I thank You for this new month. Thank You for going ahead of me and levelling every high ground. Thank You for silencing every voice of confusion and giving me clarity of purpose and mind. I declare that August is blessed and I am blessed with the riches of Your presence. My household and friends are blessed. I declare that no weapon fashioned or formed against me will prosper and every word spoken in judgement I will refute, I will not be silent. I declare that I am called for such a time as this. I am operating from a place of alignment. My heart and mind are in the right place in You. I hear and I obey. The Holy Spirit is my friend and confidant, constantly reminding me of Your heart and intentions concerning my life. I am empowered and strengthened. I serve from a place of authority and understanding. My helpers are available and I see them with the eyes of the Spirit. I am attentive to Your gentle whispers and nudging. I am a city on a hill that cannot be hidden. My light shines bright enabling others to see and not stumble in darkness. I radiate Your beauty and light. Amen”

    Go ahead and enjoy Gods goodness. Be sure to keep Him at the centre of all your decision making and thought process. Be diligent in spending time in prayer, meditation and His word. If you are fasting, saturate your mind with Gods presence through music, reading and meditation.

    Don’t forget to write down the things that God lays on your heart. Carry a notebook or use your smartphone notes to capture these. Be expectant. Expect God to say something through the word, music, friends etc .

    When you are at home, it’s a good idea to fill your home with gospel or worship music. I personally enjoy premier radio or UCB 2. Alternatively, you can stream youtube videos of messages that encourage, uplift and most importantly TEACH.

    I will be sharing my own journey in this month.

    Be sure to follow here on the blog, facebook or instagram.

    Every blessing

    Fadzai x

  • Our children and their sexual health

    IMG_7575Webinar 3.10.18

    Growing up in Zimbabwe, sex was a taboo and not talked about. The expectation was that one should stay pure and be a virgin till married. Talking to a few moms, highlights that abstinence was never the case. Yes, most women got married to the men that they were sexually active with but they were engaging in the act way before marriage. It was felt that if someone had talked openly about sex, possibly things could have been done  differently. The fact that it was done behind parents’ back, made it a sinful act and that transcended into marriage thereby making marital sex complex in some instances.

    This then poses the question’ how best can we prepare our own children to have good sexual health?’

    According to the World Health Organisation, sexual health is defined as:

    “…a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. For sexual health to be attained and maintained, the sexual rights of all persons must be respected, protected and fulfilled.” (WHO, 2006a)

       “Sexual health encompasses more than the act of having sex”

     

    The implications of poor sexual health are recognised as early pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections as well as sexual abuse. What makes sexual health even more complex is ease of accessibility. The online world poses ,many challenges for parents and pornography is rampant (NSPCC).

    With that definition we realised that the topic is very broad and needed to be streamlined. We then focussed on how do you talk to your child/ren about sexual health?

    We agreed that there is the need to be honest, transparent, graceful and open-minded. We acknowledged that our upbringing, values and beliefs can be a challenge in embracing our children’s experiences especially where sex before marriage is concerned.

     

    One of the strategies used in talking about this complex topic is using current affairs. If there is a program on television, use it as a conversation tool to explore the child’s understanding of sexual health. It is our responsibility as parents to talk to our children about this matter.

    As parents we should aspire for our children to remain pure until they get married. A good question was asked about’ what do I do if my children admits to being sexually active, how do I handle such a matter when s/he is living in my house and not married.

                                  What would Jesus do?

    That was the question of the evening for us all to consider as parents/ mothers of faith. Dealing with this disclosure requires being composed and not being shocked as well as offering reassurance. We agreed that extending love, compassion is key to keeping the line of communication open. Acknowledging that there is a good and trusting relationship is a bonus and credit to the mother-child relationship. Whilst we may worry about STI’s, pregnancy, sexual abuse, using that window of trust can be a good opportunity to empower the young person with this risky behaviour. If a mother feels that they can’t breach the topic with the child, it was suggested that finding another person that the young person can talk to is important.

     

    Our children want o hear our own personal experiences. Schools and other institutions may well be teaching our children different things to our value system We admitted that whilst it may be uncomfortable,  we should be willing to be honest and vulnerable with our children without jeopardising our relationship and position as parent. Talking to our children about soul ties, early pregnancies, STI’s and the joy of waiting for the right person is key.

    A lot of the challenges with face as parents are to do with fear of being judged and shame. We encouraged one another, that our children belong to us and not for the society or community. Prayer remains a foundation and strategy of choice in raising our children. We continue to pray for them and ourselves as we partner with the Lord in bringing them up.

    We remain hopeful x