Intentional parenting

Tag: expectations

  • Loving your children

    As a working migrant community, creating time to bond with your children is very important.

    Our children are competing for our attention with Shifts, black tax, social media, our mobile phones parental fatigue and stress. So what can we do?

    Below are 5 tips that I have used myself and many other parents I work with , with positive results.

    1. Establish a Morning or Evening Ritual

    • Use the time before or after your shifts to bond. For example, have breakfast together or create a bedtime routine like reading a story, talking about the day, or sharing a quick prayer or song. This creates consistency and helps your child feel connected. Eat at the dinner table with no TV on. For those who work long shifts, connect via whatsapp, face time etc. Have a virtual catch up , negotiate your break times so you can connect with your children.

    2. Maximize Your Days Off

    • Dedicate your off days to family-focused activities like visiting parks, museums, or simply cooking and eating together. Plan these activities ahead of time to make the most of them. Involve your child in choosing the activities to build anticipation and excitement. Most National Trust places are very good for spending time as a family. More detail here

    3. Incorporate Quality Moments into Everyday Tasks

    • Turn chores or errands into fun bonding opportunities. For instance, involve your children in meal prep or grocery shopping by assigning them small tasks, like picking ingredients or organizing items at home. Play music while cooking, share your childhood playlist with them and what it was like growing up. Let them share their own playlist as well, who is their favourite artist? You will be killing so many birds with this activity from family history, present culture to understanding each others likes. Enjoy!

    4. Use Technology Thoughtfully

    • If you work long shifts or overnight, use video calls to check in during breaks or before bedtime. Leave a heartfelt message or short video for them to watch when they wake up if you’re not there.

    5. Focus on Active Listening During Limited Time

    • When you’re with your children, give them your full attention. Ask open-ended questions about their day and feelings. Avoid distractions like your phone, so they feel valued and understood. Here at intentional parenting we did a challenge a few years ago where we encouraged parents to leave their phones upstairs the first hour they get home from work. This challenge yielded incredible results. Would you try it?,

    6. It’s very important to extend grace and compassion to yourself as a parent during tough seasons of parenting. May be you are a lone parent, establish a community around you to help. Be clear and communicate your VISION as a parent so your children can understand and marry into it. If you need help to put strategies in place , speak to someone or just get some advice , get in touch with Fadzai

    Balancing work and parenting is challenging, but intentional efforts can help you stay close to your children and nurture their emotional well-being.

    What else can you add to this?

    Every blessing

    Fadzai x

  • Playful Parent

    We are continuing with our Affirmations challenge. Cannot believe it’s end of November already! today we’re saying to out children ‘ You are fun to be with’.

    Can your children say the same about you?

    What does fun and playfulness look like in your home? We all have different expressions of being funny, playful and enjoying life.

    For most of us African parents, we may not have seen our parents roll on the floor with laughter, tickle or cuddle us. They had their own ways of being fun. May be they enjoyed telling folktales. May be they enjoyed singing and dancing to hyms. That was their idea of fun and there is nothing wrong with that.

    The idea of being playful especially here in diaspora can seem very alien to us parents of African heritage, as everywhere you look, there are pictures or literature on Western ways of playful parenting. I would encourage you to do what feels FUN for you. Share that side of you with your children.

    Once in a while, don’t worry about the mounting bills, all the responsibilities that come with being a parent.

    Do something that makes you have belly laughs.

    Dance to your favourite music like no-one is watching.

    Hang out with the girls or boys where needed.

    Below I share some

    Tips for being playful.

    1. Embrace Playfulness: Don’t be afraid to let loose and engage in playful activities. Whether it’s a spontaneous dance party in the living room or pretending to be pirates in the backyard, embracing your inner child creates a joyful atmosphere.
    2. Create Family Traditions: Establishing fun and memorable family traditions fosters a sense of togetherness. It could be a weekly game night, Friday movie night, Pizza party, a special breakfast on Saturdays, or an annual family outing. Consistency builds anticipation and strengthens family bonds.
    3. Be Open to Spontaneity: Sometimes, the most enjoyable moments happen unexpectedly. Be open to spontaneous adventures, like a last-minute picnic in the park or a surprise movie night, bowling evening, a drive through your neighbour or some random place. Flexibility adds an element of excitement to family life.
    4. Use Humor: A good sense of humor can diffuse tension and create a lighthearted atmosphere. Share jokes, play silly games, or simply find humor in everyday situations. Laughter is a powerful tool for bonding. Be open to silliness.
    5. Incorporate Learning into Fun: Turn educational activities into enjoyable experiences. Whether it’s a science experiment at home, a nature scavenger hunt, or a creative art project, blending learning with fun makes it engaging for both you and your children.
    6. Be Present: Quality time is key to being a fun parent. Put away distractions, focus on the moment, and actively participate in your child’s world. Whether it’s reading a book together or building a fort, being fully present enhances the enjoyment.
    7. Encourage Creativity: Provide opportunities for creative expression. This could involve arts and crafts, music sessions, or imaginative play. Allowing your children to express themselves fosters a sense of autonomy and joy. Let your children see you join clubs and activists as well. Join a salsa class, go to the gym etc
    8. Celebrate Achievements: Acknowledge and celebrate your child’s accomplishments, no matter how small. Positive reinforcement boosts their confidence and makes the learning process more enjoyable.
    9. Outdoor Adventures: Plan outdoor activities that cater to different interests. Whether it’s a nature hike, a day at the beach, or a bike ride, fresh air and physical activity contribute to a fun and healthy family dynamic.
    10. Express Affection: Show love and affection regularly. Hugs, high-fives, and words of encouragement create a positive and secure environment. Knowing they are loved unconditionally contributes to a happy and enjoyable family atmosphere.

  • Hello July 2023

    We are here , 7th month of the year and if you are anything like me, surprised at how time is flying! We are finally in the second half of the year and we all know summer time goes quickly.

    With that said, how do you prepare for the new month? Some people like to set intentions, find a word for the month, go out for a family meal, do a family activity, others fast for a day. What’s key is to do what works for you and your family. Setting family traditions/ rituals has been found to help keep families connected and thriving.

    For most Christian families we may well remember that the beginning or end of the month normally involve corporate gathering together to pray and give thanks. Some call it an all night prayer, empowerment night, night vigil etc. This is very biblical as we read in Old Testament the importance of beginning and end of seasons. It’s time to reflect on Gods goodness and mercy. May be the first half of the year was challenging, how do you anticipate to navigate the next half? Probably it was thrilling and exciting, how do you want to continue building on that?

    Living a life of intention helps to keep you focussed and motivated on your goals as parents. It’s not so much about the big ideas but the small everyday traditions that make a huge impact. It matters how you start the day.

    One of the key things I am passionate about is the dinner table. This has been transformative for us as a family. The discussions and conversations we have had whilst eating have been powerful and would never have happened if we watched TV whilst eating.

    This is a habit that I highly recommend to all families especially with younger children. You want to set that expectation before they become teens who want to do their own thing and spend as little time with you as possible. Laying that expectation early will yield some much needed benefits later on. If you have not been doing it, it’s never too late. Be prepared to do the ground work though 😀

    For more details on setting intentions, seizing the month and our annual vision board workshop coming soon, be sure to subscribe to our email list so you are kept update of what is going.

    To find out how I can help you achieve your parenting goals, do contact me via email below or book a FREE consultation via link here

    Wishing you a blessed and impactful month.

  • Expectations

    Webinar

    Very emotive and exciting discussion this evening on the parenting webinar.

    We established that God is the one who made us stewards for these children, we can go back to Him for help, counsel and guidance.

    For most of us first generation migrant parents, the environment and cultural expectations can be challenging.

    Strategies shared to manage expectations:

    ⁃ Prayer : Dedicate a day/ time to fast and pray for your children.

    ⁃ Communicate clearly your expectations and reasons for them with your children.

    ⁃ Be bold and honest with your community/ network about your position as a mother.

    ⁃ Don’t sacrifice your children for the community.

    ⁃ Love your children even in moments of failed or unmet expectations.

    “Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up.”

    1 Corinthians 13:7

    hope-filled ♥️🙏🏽