I am praying for you. Yes I know it will be a while before we meet you. However I am excited and expectant at the prospect of you joining our family. I also want you to know that I am doing the ground work in your future spouse. I am praying and having lots of introspective conversations.
It is my prayer that you both thrive in this. Below is my prayer for you. I will be praying this over you now and always.
Lord I thank you for my future son/ daughter in law.
I come before You today with a heart full of hope and trust in Your perfect plans. I lift up in prayer the future spouse of my child. I ask for Your guidance and blessing upon their life even now, as they journey towards the time when they will meet and join our family.
Lord, I pray for their character:
“Create in them a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within them” (Psalm 51:10). May they grow in integrity, kindness, and love, reflecting Your nature in all they do.
Guide their steps, Lord
“I ask that they trust in You with all your heart and lean not on their own understanding; in all thier ways submit to You, and You will make their paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6). Direct their choices and lead them on a path of righteousness.
Bless their relationships:
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8). Surround them with friendships that encourage and uplift, and help them to grow in love and understanding.
Strengthen their faith:
“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful” (Colossians 3:15). Draw them close to You, that their faith may be firm and their trust in You unshakeable.
Prepare their hearts for marriage:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). Teach them the true meaning of love and equip them with the qualities that will make them a wonderful spouse.
Grant them wisdom and discernment:
“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you” (James 1:5). Help them to make wise decisions that honor You and bless their future marriage.
Thank You, Lord, for hearing my prayer. I trust in Your timing and Your plans, and I look forward to the day when we will welcome this special person into our family.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
If you have prayed or are praying, do share in comment section below. I want to join my faith with your regarding the future of our children.
What can we do as mothers to support our son’s mental well being?
Maintaining good mental health is essential for overall well-being. Here are seven tips for that mothers can role model to their sons to support and improve their mental health:
Open Up About Your Feelings:
Talking about your feelings isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a way to take charge of your well-being. Whether it’s with friends, family, or a therapist, sharing your thoughts and emotions can relieve stress and provide new perspectives.
2.Stay Active:
Regular physical activity boosts mood, reduces stress, and improves overall mental health. Aim for at least 30 minutes of exercise most days of the week. Activities like walking, running, or team sports can be particularly beneficial.
3.Maintain a Healthy Diet:
Eating a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains can positively impact your mood and energy levels. Avoid excessive sugar, caffeine, and alcohol.
4.Build Strong Relationships:
Investing time in building and maintaining relationships can provide a valuable support network. Social connections are crucial for emotional support and can help combat feelings of isolation. You can join our facebook community here
5.Set Realistic Goals:
Setting achievable goals provides a sense of purpose and accomplishment. Break larger tasks into smaller, manageable steps and celebrate your progress along the way.
6.Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation:
Techniques such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, and yoga can help reduce stress and increase your ability to stay present in the moment. Even a few minutes a day can make a difference.
7.Seek Professional Help When Needed:
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed, seeking help from a mental health professional is crucial. Therapists, counselors, and support groups can provide strategies and support to navigate difficult times.
Prioritizing mental health can lead to a more fulfilling and balanced life. Remember, it’s important to address mental health proactively, just as you would physical health.
Praying for your son/ son in law is a meaningful practice rooted in biblical principles and examples. Here are seven reasons why it is important:
For Wisdom and Guidance:
Example: King Solomon asked God for wisdom to lead his people, and God granted his request (1 Kings 3:9-12). Praying for your sons to receive wisdom and guidance helps them make godly decisions throughout their lives.
2-Protection:
Example: Psalm 91 is a powerful prayer for protection, where the psalmist speaks of God’s protection over those who trust in Him (Psalm 91:1-2, 9-11). Praying for your sons’ protection is essential for their physical, emotional, and spiritual safety.
3-For Strength and Courage:
Example: Joshua was encouraged by God to be strong and courageous as he led the Israelites into the Promised Land (Joshua 1:9). Praying for your sons to have strength and courage enables them to face challenges and overcome obstacles with faith.
4-For Faith and Spiritual Growth:
Example: Timothy’s faith was nurtured by his mother and grandmother, and Paul commended their influence on him (2 Timothy 1:5). Praying for your sons’ faith and spiritual growth ensures they develop a strong, personal relationship with God.
5-For Character and Integrity:
Example: Daniel maintained his integrity and faithfulness to God even in a foreign land and under pressure (Daniel 6:4-5, 10). Praying for your sons’ character and integrity helps them to be honest, trustworthy, and morally upright.
6-For God’s Favor and Success:
Example: Joseph found favor with God and man, leading to success even in difficult circumstances (Genesis 39:2-4, 21-23). Praying for God’s favor on your sons can open doors of opportunity and bless their endeavors.
7-For Their Future and Purpose:
Example: Jeremiah 29:11 speaks of God’s plans for a hopeful future. Praying for your sons’ future and purpose aligns them with God’s will and helps them fulfill their God-given destinies.
Each of these reasons highlights the importance of seeking God’s intervention and blessings in various aspects of your sons’ lives, grounding them in biblical truth and spiritual strength.
We are continuing with our Affirmations challenge. Cannot believe it’s end of November already! today we’re saying to out children ‘ You are fun to be with’.
Can your children say the same about you?
What does fun and playfulness look like in your home? We all have different expressions of being funny, playful and enjoying life.
For most of us African parents, we may not have seen our parents roll on the floor with laughter, tickle or cuddle us. They had their own ways of being fun. May be they enjoyed telling folktales. May be they enjoyed singing and dancing to hyms. That was their idea of fun and there is nothing wrong with that.
The idea of being playful especially here in diaspora can seem very alien to us parents of African heritage, as everywhere you look, there are pictures or literature on Western ways of playful parenting. I would encourage you to do what feels FUN for you. Share that side of you with your children.
Once in a while, don’t worry about the mounting bills, all the responsibilities that come with being a parent.
Do something that makes you have belly laughs.
Dance to your favourite music like no-one is watching.
Hang out with the girls or boys where needed.
Below I share some
Tips for being playful.
Embrace Playfulness: Don’t be afraid to let loose and engage in playful activities. Whether it’s a spontaneous dance party in the living room or pretending to be pirates in the backyard, embracing your inner child creates a joyful atmosphere.
Create Family Traditions: Establishing fun and memorable family traditions fosters a sense of togetherness. It could be a weekly game night, Friday movie night, Pizza party, a special breakfast on Saturdays, or an annual family outing. Consistency builds anticipation and strengthens family bonds.
Be Open to Spontaneity: Sometimes, the most enjoyable moments happen unexpectedly. Be open to spontaneous adventures, like a last-minute picnic in the park or a surprise movie night, bowling evening, a drive through your neighbour or some random place. Flexibility adds an element of excitement to family life.
Use Humor: A good sense of humor can diffuse tension and create a lighthearted atmosphere. Share jokes, play silly games, or simply find humor in everyday situations. Laughter is a powerful tool for bonding. Be open to silliness.
Incorporate Learning into Fun: Turn educational activities into enjoyable experiences. Whether it’s a science experiment at home, a nature scavenger hunt, or a creative art project, blending learning with fun makes it engaging for both you and your children.
Be Present: Quality time is key to being a fun parent. Put away distractions, focus on the moment, and actively participate in your child’s world. Whether it’s reading a book together or building a fort, being fully present enhances the enjoyment.
Encourage Creativity: Provide opportunities for creative expression. This could involve arts and crafts, music sessions, or imaginative play. Allowing your children to express themselves fosters a sense of autonomy and joy. Let your children see you join clubs and activists as well. Join a salsa class, go to the gym etc
Celebrate Achievements: Acknowledge and celebrate your child’s accomplishments, no matter how small. Positive reinforcement boosts their confidence and makes the learning process more enjoyable.
Outdoor Adventures: Plan outdoor activities that cater to different interests. Whether it’s a nature hike, a day at the beach, or a bike ride, fresh air and physical activity contribute to a fun and healthy family dynamic.
Express Affection: Show love and affection regularly. Hugs, high-fives, and words of encouragement create a positive and secure environment. Knowing they are loved unconditionally contributes to a happy and enjoyable family atmosphere.
In todays challenge we are reminding our children that ‘You mean a lot to our family’. It’s important these words are meaningful and substantiated by actions. Would your children agree that they feel special and mean a lot? What are the things and actions that demonstrate that?
Below are tips that you can apply to demonstrate to your child that s/he is important.
Active Listening: Pay full attention when your child speaks. Show that their thoughts and feelings matter by actively engaging in conversations. Make an effort not to use the phone or screens.
Quality Time: Dedicate focused, quality time to spend with your child regularly. This reinforces the importance of your relationship in their life. This could be dinner time, school run time. Normalise having connecting time with no distractions. Some parents enjoy having 1:1 dates and it does not have to be expensive.. coffee dates, etc
Celebrating Achievements: Acknowledge and celebrate your child’s achievements, whether big or small. This reinforces their value and accomplishments. You can cook their favourite meal if they have been helpful in the week. Be clear what you are celebrating and refrain from celebrating academic achievement ONLY. Celebrate other virtues such as being kind, helpful, thoughtful etc.
Personalized Attention: Provide individualized attention, addressing their unique needs and interests. This demonstrates that you understand and appreciate their individuality. Spend 1:1 time with your child doing the things they love.
Express Affection: Regularly express affection through hugs, kisses, and verbal affirmations. Physical and verbal expressions of love emphasize their importance to you. You may not be comfortable with this if you did not grow up doing this, I would encourage you to lean onto your discomfort. You can start by hugging your child on specific times, eg when they leave home for school, when they come home, when you meet after a period of separation. You then build it up by cuddling them when on the couch together watching tv and so forth. Hugs and physical touch are good for us, they lower heart rate and blood pressure.
Attend Events: Attend your child’s school events, performances, and activities. Your presence at these events communicates your active involvement and support. Negotiate with your employer so that you can attend key events and if you cannot, explain to your child in a way that they understand.
Encourage Communication: Create an open and encouraging environment for your child to share their thoughts and concerns. Make it clear that their voice is heard and respected.
Prioritise Safety: Ensuring your child’s safety is a tangible way of demonstrating their importance. Establishing a secure environment fosters trust and a sense of significance.
Routine Check-Ins: Regularly check in with your child about their day, experiences, and feelings. It shows that you are genuinely interested in their well-being. Again the kitchen/ dining table is key for these discussions. For working parents, you can schedule a face time or video/ phone call to check on.
Involve Them in Decision-Making: Include your child in age-appropriate decision-making processes. It empowers them and emphasizes that their input matters.
Celebrate Special Days: Make a big deal out of their birthdays and other special occasions. Creating memorable experiences on these days reinforces their significance in your life.
Create Traditions: Establish family traditions that involve your child. These can be simple routines or special activities that contribute to a sense of belonging.
Display Their Artwork: Proudly showcase your child’s artwork or creations. This demonstrates that their efforts and creativity are valued. Let them know how proud you are of their creativity.
Share Stories: Share stories about their childhood or family history. It fosters a sense of identity and importance in the family narrative. How about a family tree event. Talk about your own childhood. What did you enjoy the most? Who were the important people in your life . Why did you migrate?
Encourage Individual Goals: Support and encourage your child in pursuing their personal goals and interests. It communicates that you believe in their potential.
Celebrate Uniqueness: Embrace and celebrate the unique qualities and talents of your child. This reinforces that they are valued for who they are.
Be Reliable: Be a reliable and consistent presence in your child’s life. Dependability creates a sense of security and importance.
Apologize When Necessary: Acknowledge and apologize if you make a mistake. This teaches your child that their feelings and perspectives are respected.
Listen Without Judgment: Create a non-judgmental space where your child feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and experiences without fear of criticism.
Offer Encouragement: Provide regular words of encouragement. Positive reinforcement reinforces their self-worth and importance. The affirmations challenge is key here to support those. More details on this
Remember, it’s the combination of these actions that truly conveys to your child that they are cherished and important in your life.
For more information, on upcoming masterclass and vision board workshop, do join the facebook page to be kept up to date.
For parenting support, contact Fadzai via this link
Today marks your 19th year around the sun. What a privilege and honour to witness!
Here is my birthday letter to you :
Happy birthday beautiful!
As I reflect on the incredible person you’ve become, my heart swells with pride and love. Today marks another beautiful year of your life, and I want to take this moment to celebrate the remarkable journey that you are on.
From the moment you came into this world, you brought immeasurable joy and purpose into my life. Your laughter has been my symphony, your accomplishments my pride, and your spirit my inspiration. I love your convictions and the lenses that you view the world. Your voice and opinion is so needed in this generation. You are intelligent, joyful and incredibly grounded. A great friend to many! Watching you grow into the compassionate, intelligent, and strong individual that you are has been the greatest gift I could have ever received.
As you embrace this new chapter in your life, remember that your potential knows no bounds. You have an extraordinary light within you that radiates kindness and resilience. Keep chasing your dreams fearlessly, and know that I will always be here to support and guide you through every step of your journey. Thank you for ALL the lessons I am learning as I watch you grow. May you never stop being YOU!
May all your gifts and talents make room for you my daughter! Your hands are incredibly blessed, that much you know. Use them as often as life allows you. Your culinary skills are commendable and worth of mentioning. Keep at it. Your sharp, critical mind will take you far, keep feeding and watering it.
May this birthday be filled with laughter, cherished moments, and an abundance of love. Never forget how cherished and adored you are, not just today, but every single day. You and your brother are my greatest joy, and I am endlessly grateful for the privilege of being your madre
Every month of November we are taking the positive affirmation challenge.
Research on affirmations suggests that they can have a positive impact on the brain, influencing areas related to self-worth, self-integrity, and cognitive processing. Studies indicate that practicing affirmations may help in reducing stress, enhancing resilience, and improving overall well-being. They can also contribute to a more positive mindset, increased self-esteem, and a stronger sense of control over one’s life.
We are encouraging parents to speak positively in the lives of your children. Most of you may already be doing this. What we are emphasising is the power of spoken words into the hearts and minds of your children.
💡Tip
You may also want to draw out traits that you need to see more in your child. For instance you may have a child who has either of these traits; fearful , indecisive, anxious, unkind, disorganised, confused, hanging with wrong crowds, lazy, indifferent, distracted, etc.
Speak into those traits eg where there is laziness, speak diligence, commitment etc. Talk about it with your child in a sensitive and respectful manner:
“I see you struggle to get things done. How can I help you?”
Listen to their suggestions and be willing to work with them. Put practical strategies to support with what needs to happen. If you identify something that you nee help with, do get in touch with Fadzai via this link
Talk about the challenge and how you are keen to support and make a difference as a parent.
If your child is old enough, ask if there is anything that they need you to focus/ support or pray into?
The idea of the challenge is to make it your own and meaningful as much as possible.
We understand the power of the SPOKEN word especially when said in faith!
Goal
These are some potential goals for this challenge focused on intentional parenting:
Encouraging parents to prioritize quality time and meaningful interactions with their children in order to foster strong emotional bonds and promote positive child development.
Empowering parents to practice mindful, conscious parenting techniques that prioritize understanding, empathy, and effective communication, fostering a supportive and nurturing family environment.
Promoting the importance of setting clear boundaries and consistent discipline strategies to help children develop self-discipline, responsibility, and healthy decision-making skills, ultimately contributing to their overall well-being and character development.
Highlighting the significance of promoting emotional intelligence and resilience in children through intentional conversations, positive reinforcement, and modeling healthy emotional expression, thus equipping them with essential life skills for managing and navigating their emotions effectively.
What you need for this challenge is to speak these AFFIRMING words into your child. If you are christian we encourage you to do it prayerfully.
I encourage you to be creative, wild and think outside the box on how you want to do this.
Below are examples of what you can do:
Bedroom door.
Affirmation JAR
Choose a consistent time that works for you and your household. For example, a working from home parent may choose a time when the child/ ren are at school to surprise them when they come home each day with an affirmative word.
Another parent may choose to share the word with child, pray together into that Affirmative word and may ask the child to stick it on the door.
📌Do what works well for you and your child.
Encourage the teens and young adults living at home to participate. Let them know you are taking the challenge. With this cohort of children, they may not be overly interested, do not lose heart. They need these WORDS more than than you can imagine. For Christian parents, you may want to pray into their rooms on your own each day using that AFFIRMATIVE word and then stick it on their bedroom door.
For those of you with a children who share a bedroom, use different coloured post notes for each child so you can differentiate.
If you do not have post it notes, use plain paper and coloured pen/ markers/ highlighters/ eg black pen, green, red or blue.
Some of you may prefer to use digital notes. Use what is easier and best for you. This may work well with children who are not living at home may be in boarding schools, college, uni or left the nest altogether.
Be as creative and wild as you want with this.
As a parent remember to speak positively to yourself as well:
I am a loving parent
I am doing a great job
I am raising the future
I am the best parent for my child
I am learning
I am enough
I am growing
I am impactful
I am open minded
I am qualified to parent.
I love what I do.
The Challenge
“Positive Parenting Affirmation Challenge” “🌟✨ Join our #IntentionalParentingAffirmationChallenge #IPAC and share your daily affirmations for a happier, more fulfilling parenting journey! Let’s uplift our children and spread the joy of positive parenting one affirmation at a time.
🌈 Tag us and inspire others to embrace the power of positivity! Use these hashtags #ParentingPositivity #Affirmations #IntentionalParenting #IPAC
Follow Intentional parenting socials via links below for updates and inspiration.
Do share with your friends, families and colleagues.
For the next months of October, November and December we will be praying, reflecting and meditating on this book. It promises to be an incredible time of feasting on the WORD, growing your knowledge muscle and exercising your faith.
Join us for an epic summer as we look to have fun with our families. The activities we have chosen are either FREE or cheap to do over the 6 weeks break.
These are some of the activities we are encouraging you to do with your families. What do you think?
More easy to do activities as well. Share with your children. Let them identify the things they would like to do.
Our challenge to ALL our families this summer 2023, is for you to visit your local MUSEUM and WOODLAND. Our research shows that black families rarely visit these places. That may be different for you and your family and that is good. For the rest, during this 6week school break, let’s visit our local museum, parks, woodlands, walking trails etc. Most of them are free and may have subsidied activities for children of different age groups.
When you have visited the Museum, or Park, tag us in your photos with #intentionalparenting #IPsummer23
We also would like you to visit your local woodland. Did you know that only 1% of visitors to UK national parks are from Black, Asian or ethnic minority backgrounds according to the research here.
For a bonus week, how about a visit to a farm? Check Odd farm here. You can check your local area for farms where you can visit.
Or even better this AMAZING and super packed FREE activities in Milton Keynes!
Most of the activities at the Milton Keynes Festival you need to book tickets, so use think link here
OPERA!
Have you been to see an opera with your child/ ren? Again this is another activity where black families are usually under represented. Yes opera’s and theatre can be expensive sometimes. Below is a very good offer that families can take… Let us know if you will be going to theatre/ Opera this summer.
And we have gone further afield with incredible deals and affordable day outs. Check out these places. First is this amazing paradise with everything to cater for every child hobbledown heath. If you are near Northamptonshire, a visit to stanwick lakes especially on a hot summers day (when the weather decides to play ball) will be great fun. Check them out as well!
How about an EPIC summer camping? Check this event here . This is packed with amazing activities for all ages and it’s in Kent! Let us know if you will be attending.
This 👆🏾programme is a GAME CHANGER for all 16-18year olds! Look out for their summer program next year and be sure to involve your teen. Click here for more details
To participate in this SIX weeks summer challenge, join our whatsapp group running from 24th of July to 4th of September. This will be a place to encourage, inspire one another and also share further ideas. Let’s kill the ‘I am bored mantra’ by being prepared and organised parents. Here is to Summer 2023!!
We are here , 7th month of the year and if you are anything like me, surprised at how time is flying! We are finally in the second half of the year and we all know summer time goes quickly.
With that said, how do you prepare for the new month? Some people like to set intentions, find a word for the month, go out for a family meal, do a family activity, others fast for a day. What’s key is to do what works for you and your family. Setting family traditions/ rituals has been found to help keep families connected and thriving.
For most Christian families we may well remember that the beginning or end of the month normally involve corporate gathering together to pray and give thanks. Some call it an all night prayer, empowerment night, night vigil etc. This is very biblical as we read in Old Testament the importance of beginning and end of seasons. It’s time to reflect on Gods goodness and mercy. May be the first half of the year was challenging, how do you anticipate to navigate the next half? Probably it was thrilling and exciting, how do you want to continue building on that?
Living a life of intention helps to keep you focussed and motivated on your goals as parents. It’s not so much about the big ideas but the small everyday traditions that make a huge impact. It matters how you start the day.
One of the key things I am passionate about is the dinner table. This has been transformative for us as a family. The discussions and conversations we have had whilst eating have been powerful and would never have happened if we watched TV whilst eating.
This is a habit that I highly recommend to all families especially with younger children. You want to set that expectation before they become teens who want to do their own thing and spend as little time with you as possible. Laying that expectation early will yield some much needed benefits later on. If you have not been doing it, it’s never too late. Be prepared to do the ground work though 😀
For more details on setting intentions, seizing the month and our annual vision board workshop coming soon, be sure to subscribe to our email list so you are kept update of what is going.
To find out how I can help you achieve your parenting goals, do contact me via email below or book a FREE consultation via link here
Intentional parenting 