Category: Life in diaspora

Webinar 5.9.19

We agreed that conflict is part of a healthy relationship. As a community of mothers we acknowledged that it is important to have the right tools and strategies to manage conflict(s) in the family home.

-It was asserted that first and foremost it is key that parents have a family vision. This vision will have some values and principles to follow. The vision will allow the family to know and remember what and where they are going. For instance one family vision may be

‘To raise God fearing and parent honouring children”

Alongside that would the goals on how to achieve that. For the family above it may that both parents will role model God fearing and parent honouring behaviours in their homes.

Another family’s vision may be to :

“Live in a calm, happy home”

Once again, they will have goals on how to achieve the calmness and happiness they desire in their home.

-Understanding of one’s sphere of influence was also deemed important in knowing when to assert your power. We were encouraged to focus on empowering self so others can follow.

-Not leaving issues to stifle, but to discuss them in a calm and respectful manner as soon as possible.

-Going for a walk or drive was also suggested as a strategy for taking time out to discuss difficult issues away from the children.

-It was appreciated that sometime the male ego may make it difficulty to resolve an issue. An example was given where a spouse or partner may be dismissive of the issue at hand or even be defensive. It was suggested that it may be a good idea to wait for one of the good days to discuss the issue at hand.

-Lastly and more importantly, we reminded each other that we are powerful beings. We affirmed that we are women of faith and prayer. We encouraged one another to tap into the power of faith through prayer. The bible reminds us to pray continually, without ceasing and to have faith.

Personally, I would like to leave you with this encouragement;

“Don’t worry about anything, but in all your prayers ask God for what you need, always asking him with a thankful heart. And God’s peace, which is far beyond human understanding, will keep your hearts and minds safe in union with Christ Jesus.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:6-7‬ ‭GNB‬‬

With love and blessings

Fadzai

Who doesn’t need a break in the sun? Few people will say no to that. On this blog, we share our tips for booking that family vacation. We hope this will help someone and that we also will get some ideas and tips from you too.

So for us, we are a family of four, consisting of three adults and 1 teen. We love experiences and making memories. We have had to learn how to travel on a budget and so far we are grateful. We prefer to visit uncommon destinations💕.

Each year we set a realistic budget of how much in total we would like to spend on a Summer break. Once that’s determined, we start looking for offers, deals, sales etc. It’s such a commitment that my husband and daughter are married to. They invest so much time in researching places to visit etc. We learn a lot about ourselves, and potential destinations as a family through the planning sessions. This year our daughter and youngest planned this Sicily- Malta break meticulously it’s humbling 💗

We have found that once we have decided on destination, making a hotel reservation early is useful. We use Booking.com as well as Hotels.com and many other apps such as Trivago etc. We tend to book our summer holiday by Christmas time.

By booking early, most hotel reservations are free so you can swap or change to a certain period. This offers peace of mind as you many not want to commit to a holiday 8months in advance. Arbnb is a game changer for accommodation too, especially for city breaks. It has introduced us to amazing communities and apartments. We stayed in a quirk apartment in Copenhagen and as I write we are in a historic Italian apartment in Catania, Sicily in Italy. The apartment has won me some brownie points with teen daughter who is keen on history and all things beautiful.

Flights are tricky and a deal breaker when looking for family summer break. Being the single most expensive entity, we have allowed flights to determine our destination. For the past 4 years we have visited mainly Europe and North Africa (Spain, Portugal, Turkey, Moroccco) for that reason.

As for timing, in terms of when to go, it all depends with the two above as well as working schedules and family calendars really. We tend to go away mid August so that we break even the long six weeks. The past two years we have strived for two get aways. The first tends to be a mini city break in one of European capitals. In that break, it’s mostly about culture and history so we book walking tours, visit museums and places of interest. We absorb as much as we can about the city. Visiting street food markets is a MUST in our house thanks to hubby. Once that intellectual holiday is done, we then go on a chilled relaxed break by the pool/ beach. The beach holiday tends to be 5-7days long and we are ready to face the winter.

Hope this has been useful. Let us know how we can help. Share some ideas, tips and strategies for making an epic family holiday.

Does your family have traditions that you do for summer? Would love to hear from you.

We will soon be sharing more about our holiday experiences with each destination we have been, look out for details.

Take care.

Fadzai x

Webinar 20.06.2019

This above flier 👆🏾summarises the conversation we were having last night on the *webinar* about being courageous parents

-Being on guard as parents, means looking out for the interest of our families. Being fully involved and invested in their lives including knowing what they are watching and listening to. Do you know your teenager’s favourite artist? Whose music are they listening to? What about their friends? Who is their closest friends and what have they been up to recently?

In this age of social media and gadgets, it’s very easy to lose sight of these fundamentals. Truth be told, most teens are not going to dish this information on a platter for you. If anything, they like to keep it to themselves. As parents, we can get this information through spending TIME together, doing things that our children enjoy.

Be involved. Play that xbox/ playstation game. Listen to their favourite rapper. Don’t be quick to judge their choice of music. Find a good time to research and learn about particular artist or genres. Introduce your children to your favourite music. What music did you play or dance to when you were their age? You tube the videos and get moving. They will love you for it. Be sure to lookout for that snapchat shot 😍

-Standing firm on God’s purpose concerning our children means having unwavering faith. We can allow Gods word to have a final say concerning our lives. There are so many family promises in the bible. The famous deutronomy 28 is filled with many.

-Commit your children in the hands of capable God. Do this by praying for your children. Lay your hands on their heads and speak Gods promises. If they are teen and not overly keen for you to lay hands, pray in their rooms. Play you tube videos/ clips with declarations such as Cindy Trims prayer of atomic power.

-Saturate your home with worship and peaceful music. Whilst a lot of us may not believe in the Spiritual realms, the unseen world is very much alive like the wind; no one can touch it but it’s effects are well felt.

-Above all walking in love. The Word says perfect love casts out fear. Allowing the Word to take root in our lives by reading and meditating on it. Love is the greatest gift that we can give ourselves and our children as parents. Paul reminds us that :

“Love is kind and patient, never jealous, boastful, proud, or rude. Love isn’t selfish or quick-tempered. It doesn’t keep a record of wrongs that others do. Love rejoices in the truth, but not in evil. Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting. Love never fails! Everyone who prophesies will stop, and unknown languages will no longer be spoken. All that we know will be forgotten.”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:4-8‬ ‭CEVUK‬‬

When was the last time that you were patient, kind, slow to anger? Love is hopeful. Even in challenging seasons of parenting, love remains hopeful that ”my children will fulfill their God given destiny”

Fear especially of being judged and scrutiny from other people hold us back as parents. For me, this is something that is very close to my heart. I didn’t realise the depth of my fears until my children started to challenge my decisions. For instance, I used to struggle if my children decided to have a lie in on Sunday instead of coming to church. I had to learn that God desires to be known, be seen and His power felt so that our children can receive Him.

I came to read the book of Acts and understood that when the disciples were walking with Jesus, those who saw them it is reported that ‘they knew’ that they had been with the Lord. There was something about them, that revealed the company of Jesus. Can the same be said of you as a parent who fears and loves God.

Can your children confidently say that they have encountered the God of their parent? Lord be seen and be known is our prayer. Capture the hearts and minds of our children as we continue to hope and trust in You. Strip us of ourselves until there is only YOU in us. Make us courageous in pursuit for holiness and righteousness. Amen

To you my fellow parent; The Lord says be strong and be courageous for I am with you. Joshua 1💕

Would love to hear how you are getting in applying some of these principles.

Be sure to leave a comment, share or tag another parent who can use some encouragement.

Every blessing

Fadzai

Webinar 12.09.2018

We were glad to be back on the webinar after the summer holidays. We talked about having the courage and confidence to slow down in a an era that celebrates busyness. We acknowledged that being a millennial mom has become hectic due to the need to fit in all these other activities.

Our key strategy was drawn from the life of Martha  who found herself so busy hosting, preparing and entertaining. It is recorded that Jesus encouraged Martha to slow down, not be so pre-occupied with what needs doing. Jesus went on to say to Martha :

Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken from her’ ” (Luke 10:39-42).

           Relationships are what matters

How are we investing in the relationships that matter the most; our families? Are we finding the time to unplug and make eye contact? On our most recent webinar last week 6.6.19 one mother acknowledged that the balancing act of being a career woman, wife, mother, daughter, friend, entrepreneur to mention a few is fraught with guilt and shame as we find ourselves spinning all these roles whilst feeling ineffective.

A great strategy was shared of the DINNER TABLE. Allowing the dinner table to be the centre and hub of family life. Putting boundaries and making it clear that no phones or gadgets are allowed on the table. Being committed to the art of breaking and sharing food together. For those of faith, it is illustrated in the book of Acts 1, that the apostles broke bread together and shared what they had. It is clearly mentioned that the Lord added so much to them whilst they were doing that.

What would you like to be added into your family life? For us, as we deliberately come to the table, we are saying ‘Lord increase your love, faith and hope in this family. Let this tradition proceed from this generation and many others to come. Allow our conversations to bring healing and peace in our home.

It is our prayer and hope that you found last week’s home work doable and achievable. We were tasked to develop the art of being self aware. One of the steps to do that, was to look back to our own childhood and find out what we thought was good parenting, and why? We then needed to know how that good parenting is measuring with our current.

We desire that you find the value to this gathering of brave and courageous mothers. We encourage you to take the steps towards growth and these small tasks are positive steps towards that. We look forward to hearing your courageous introspection.

Yours in pursuit of courage.

Fadzai xxx

Came across this facebook memory and a flood emotions came through. The year is 2011, April 27th to be exact. I was undertaking a postgrad certificate in Critical Care. It was an interesting time from the commute to juggling work and family. I got through it, passed whilst planning our marriage blessing back home.

Looking back, I have done all my tertiary education as a mom. I went into nurse training when our son was 3years old and fell pregnant mid-way, finishing the course with two children. The studying carried on pretty much every couple of years on average. I have thoroughly enjoyed the world of academia. Not the best organised mama but I seem to get through it. Will I go back to studying again? YES. I just need to find something that tickles my fancy, is useful and relevant.

Tips for surviving the juggle:

1– Create a Calendar that everyone can Access. Empower the family unit to use the calendar, so everyone knows who is where and doing what.

2- Cook and freeze meals on the weekend to be thawed and eaten during the week. This will help to save time. No time for cooking or detour to the takeaway? Buy food from the student canteen to take home.

3-Use public transportation, so you can study and answer emails on the train. I car shared with a colleague and that was the greatest blessing in revising on the way home, cut costs as well as as provided therapy when talking through the difficulties of studying, working and raising a family.

4-Access help from the student learning center early instead of procrastinating or trying to get family to help. Oh I remember expecting so much from my husband and children to help with graphs and diagrams so much to my frustration 😍

5-Don’t ignore your social life. You need and deserve relationships outside of your family. It’s tempting to want to drop those social events in a bid to study. Take time out and let your hair down. You will be more efficient when rested. I planned our marriage blessing whilst undertaking this course. That was my therapy and I have to say, that kept me sane.

6- Eat well, try not to miss breakfast, even if it’s a piece of fruit or yoghurt. Keep active, move your body more and get the needed energy and nutrients to the brain.

7-Pray and meditate. Prayer has the ability to energise and stabilise our thinking and well being. There are so many apps you can use on the go. Having a quiet time and deep breathing helps to keep calm.

If you know someone who could use the tips, please share. 💕

The confident mama

Find those mom-ents in your parenting journey that light your fire. Treasure and hold on to them. When my two were younger, those moments were in surplus. As they have both now transitioned into #teenhood, they are rare and far apart. The teen world can be quite complex such that sometimes they, themselves, don’t know how to articulate it.

As a professional, I know and appreciate teenage brain development. I know how hard it is to be misunderstood. As a mom, I need to contain them,  unpick these challenges all before we can have great warm mom-ments. You would think the unpicking would be easy because I believe we are almost always in tune with our children. In reality it is the hardest bit for me.

My greatest challenge is life outside my home. By the time I come in, after a full day’s work, I also would like to be acknowledged and they are probably in the midst of problem solving their own dramas 😞. It’s painful, I know. Most #parents will totally agree that parenting is challenging. However, there are moments we feel in control, fulfilled and purposeful. I am learning to embrace those mom-ments more and cherish them.

Look for those mom-ments. Be intentional in finding them. Repeat them as often as possible, being careful that you may get a different response or effect. My mom-ments are typically when I am well rested 😎😎 I am a better mom when I have had a good sleep, fresh air, meditation and not worrying much about dinner 😍. My children react better to me in that state.

Holidays tend to give us more of these #mom-ments. Take inspiration from them and replicate them at home maybe once a week and build to twice a week if possible. I know the sun and sea are major ingredients to it all. Take  vitamin D supplements 💊💊they are key to our moods and overall health. Remember exercise too, however that may be 🤸🏽‍♂️🏊🏾‍♀️. I believe in good enough parenting and not perfect parenting.

Phone calls are vintage and a rarity these days, call another mom, encourage her. Not only will it leave you feeling good about being there for others, you are  also creating networks that are key to a good life

Good luck in living your mom- ments 🥂

#confidentmama 💕