Intentional parenting

Category: Life in diaspora

  • Safeguarding your children as a parent

    Understanding Safeguarding

    Safeguarding refers to the measures taken to protect children from abuse, neglect, exploitation, and harm. It involves promoting their welfare, ensuring they grow up in a safe environment, and taking action when there are concerns about their safety.

    Our founder and director Fadzai is a safeguarding consultant with extensive experience working at senior level in health and social care covering both public and private sector organisations. Full detail on her linkdn

    Key Safeguarding Responsibilities for Parents

    1. Recognising Signs of Abuse and Neglect

    Parents should be aware of potential signs of harm, which can include:

    • Physical abuse: Unexplained bruises, burns, or fractures.

    • Emotional abuse: Low self-esteem, withdrawal, or fearfulness.

    • Sexual abuse: Inappropriate sexual knowledge, fear of a certain person, or secrecy. This includes sexting, where young people send inappropriate images to each other.

    • Neglect: Poor hygiene, malnutrition, or lack of supervision, medical neglect.

    If you suspect abuse, contact your local safeguarding team, GP, school, or social services. You can also call the NSPCC (0808 800 5000) or Childline (0800 1111) for guidance.

    2. Online Safety Measures

    With increasing screen time, safeguarding children online is essential:

    • Use parental controls on devices and apps.

    • Monitor social media activity and set boundaries.

    • Teach children about online dangers, including cyberbullying and grooming.

    • Encourage open discussions so they feel safe reporting concerns.

    3. Supervision and Safe Environments

    • Always know your child’s whereabouts and who they are with.

    • Ensure they have a trusted adult to confide in.

    • Teach them about “stranger danger” while balancing the need to be polite.

    • Ensure babysitters, nannies, or carers are DBS-checked and reputable.

    4. Mental Health and Emotional Well-being

    Children’s mental well-being is just as important as physical health. Look out for:

    • Sudden changes in mood or behaviour.

    • Anxiety, depression, or withdrawal from activities.

    • Self-harm or talk of hopelessness.

    Encourage open conversations and seek professional support through your GP, school counsellors, CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services), or charities like YoungMinds.

    5. Health and Medical Safeguarding

    • Keep up with childhood immunisations.

    • Store medications safely out of children’s reach.

    • Teach basic first aid and when to call 999 in emergencies.

    • Encourage a healthy lifestyle with balanced nutrition and exercise.

    6. Safeguarding in Schools and Activities

    • Ensure schools have strong safeguarding policies and designated safeguarding leads (DSLs).

    • Check that clubs, sports teams, and extracurricular activities follow child protection policies.

    • Encourage children to report bullying or any uncomfortable experiences.

    What to Do If You Have Concerns

    If you suspect a child is at risk, take immediate action:

    1. Report concerns to the school’s DSL, GP, or local safeguarding team.

    2. Contact social services or the police (101 for non-emergency, 999 for urgent danger).

    3. Use national helplines like NSPCC, Barnardo’s, or the Local Safeguarding Children Partnerships (LSCPs)

    Final Thoughts

    Safeguarding is a shared responsibility among parents, caregivers, professionals, and the wider community. By staying informed, creating open conversations, and knowing where to seek help, you can play a vital role in keeping your child safe and supported.

    For further advice, visit:

    • NSPCC: www.nspcc.org.uk

    • Childline: www.childline.org.uk

    • UK Government Safeguarding Guidance: www.gov.uk

    If you need specific advice, advocacy, safeguarding concerns or challenges, feel free to ask. Get in touch with Fadzai here

    Remain intentional

    Fadzai x

  • Loving your children

    As a working migrant community, creating time to bond with your children is very important.

    Our children are competing for our attention with Shifts, black tax, social media, our mobile phones parental fatigue and stress. So what can we do?

    Below are 5 tips that I have used myself and many other parents I work with , with positive results.

    1. Establish a Morning or Evening Ritual

    • Use the time before or after your shifts to bond. For example, have breakfast together or create a bedtime routine like reading a story, talking about the day, or sharing a quick prayer or song. This creates consistency and helps your child feel connected. Eat at the dinner table with no TV on. For those who work long shifts, connect via whatsapp, face time etc. Have a virtual catch up , negotiate your break times so you can connect with your children.

    2. Maximize Your Days Off

    • Dedicate your off days to family-focused activities like visiting parks, museums, or simply cooking and eating together. Plan these activities ahead of time to make the most of them. Involve your child in choosing the activities to build anticipation and excitement. Most National Trust places are very good for spending time as a family. More detail here

    3. Incorporate Quality Moments into Everyday Tasks

    • Turn chores or errands into fun bonding opportunities. For instance, involve your children in meal prep or grocery shopping by assigning them small tasks, like picking ingredients or organizing items at home. Play music while cooking, share your childhood playlist with them and what it was like growing up. Let them share their own playlist as well, who is their favourite artist? You will be killing so many birds with this activity from family history, present culture to understanding each others likes. Enjoy!

    4. Use Technology Thoughtfully

    • If you work long shifts or overnight, use video calls to check in during breaks or before bedtime. Leave a heartfelt message or short video for them to watch when they wake up if you’re not there.

    5. Focus on Active Listening During Limited Time

    • When you’re with your children, give them your full attention. Ask open-ended questions about their day and feelings. Avoid distractions like your phone, so they feel valued and understood. Here at intentional parenting we did a challenge a few years ago where we encouraged parents to leave their phones upstairs the first hour they get home from work. This challenge yielded incredible results. Would you try it?,

    6. It’s very important to extend grace and compassion to yourself as a parent during tough seasons of parenting. May be you are a lone parent, establish a community around you to help. Be clear and communicate your VISION as a parent so your children can understand and marry into it. If you need help to put strategies in place , speak to someone or just get some advice , get in touch with Fadzai

    Balancing work and parenting is challenging, but intentional efforts can help you stay close to your children and nurture their emotional well-being.

    What else can you add to this?

    Every blessing

    Fadzai x

  • Wise Parenting

    Demonstrating wisdom in parenting involves thoughtful decision-making, emotional intelligence, and a deep understanding of your child’s needs. Here are five tips to help you show wisdom in your parenting:

    1. Listen Actively and Empathetically

    • Tip: Practice active listening by giving your full attention to your child when they speak. Make eye contact and remove distractions such as phone or telly. Validate their feelings and experiences, even if you don’t fully agree. This helps build trust and shows that you value their perspective.
    • Why It’s Wise: Active listening fosters open communication and helps you understand your child’s needs and emotions better, enabling more thoughtful responses.

    2. Model the Behavior You Want to See

    • Tip: Be a role model in areas such as kindness, patience, and responsibility. Children learn by observing, so demonstrate the values and behaviors you want them to adopt. Be mindful of how you carry yourself in the home, your children are watching.
    • Why It’s Wise: Leading by example teaches children important life skills and moral values more effectively than just telling them what to do.

    3. Practice Patience and Perspective

    • Tip: When faced with challenging situations, take a step back to assess the bigger picture before reacting. Respond with patience, considering both short-term and long-term impacts on your child. How you react to small things becomes a foundation in your children’s hearts and minds. For example if you scream and shout all day about a vase that has been ACCIDENTALLY broken, how is this child ever going to tell you when someone touched them inappropriately?
    • Why It’s Wise: Patience allows you to make decisions that are not just reactive but thoughtful and considerate of your child’s development and well-being.

    4. Encourage Independence Within Safe Boundaries

    • Tip: Allow your child to make choices and take on responsibilities appropriate for their age, while providing guidance and boundaries to ensure their safety and well-being. Each child is different which is why it’s important to KNOW your child through spending time together.
    • Why It’s Wise: Encouraging independence helps children build confidence, decision-making skills, and resilience, preparing them for the complexities of life.

    5. Prioritize Consistent and Fair Discipline

    • Tip: Establish clear rules and consequences, and apply them consistently. Ensure that discipline is fair, focused on teaching rather than punishing, and tailored to the individual needs of your child.
    • Why It’s Wise: Consistent and fair discipline helps children understand boundaries and the consequences of their actions, promoting a sense of security and respect for rules.

    By incorporating these tips into your parenting approach, you can demonstrate wisdom that will positively influence your child’s development and your relationship with them.

    Hope you find these useful.

    Let me know in comment section below.

    Here is to thriving in parenting.

    If you need further support with parenting, want to discuss something, do get in touch via link below:

    https://calendly.com/intentionalparenting/intentional-parenting-consultation

    Love and blessings

    Fadzi x

  • Five tips for demonstrating love to your children as a Christian parent:

    1. Spend Quality Time Together:
    • Tip: Dedicate undivided attention to your children by engaging in activities they enjoy and creating meaningful memories together.
    • Example: Have regular family devotionals, play games, go on nature walks, or simply listen to them share about their day.

    2-Model Christlike Behavior:

    • Tip: Exhibit the qualities of Jesus in your daily interactions with your children, including patience, kindness, humility, and forgiveness.
    • Example: Apologize when you make a mistake, show patience during stressful times, and speak kindly and respectfully.

    3-Teach and Live Out Biblical Principles:

    • Tip: Incorporate biblical teachings into your family life and make Scripture a central part of your home.
    • Example: Read Bible stories together, pray as a family, and discuss how biblical principles can be applied in everyday situations. Show love, affection, compassion and forgiveness. As Christian parents we are called to demonstrate the fruit of the spirit, read Galatians 5:22

    4-Encourage and Affirm:

    • Tip: Regularly encourage and affirm your children, highlighting their strengths and expressing confidence in their abilities.
    • Example: Praise their efforts in school, sports, or hobbies, and affirm their unique qualities and God-given talents. You can look at our affirmations challenge here
    • 5- Show Unconditional Love and Grace:
    • Tip: Demonstrate unconditional love and grace, mirroring God’s love for us, by loving your children without conditions or expectations.
    • Example: Offer forgiveness freely, reassure them of your love even when they make mistakes, and support them through their challenges without judgment. Love for children is spelt as TIME. Spend quality time with your children away from distractions. Create family traditions and memories.

    What else can you add to this? Would love to hear from you.

    Remain intentional

    Yours

    Fadzai x

  • Hello August

    August represents the peak of summer, warmth, fun and long summer days.

    Here in the UK it’s right at the peak of school summer break. A time to make memories, rest and bond with children. It can also be a very stressful time to sort childcare. I pray that you have an awesome summer.

    Let us pray:

    Heavenly Father,

    We come before You with grateful hearts, thanking You for the gift of this summer season. As we enter the month of August, we ask for Your blessings and guidance in all our activities and endeavors.

    Lord, Your Word says, “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you” (Numbers 6:24-25). We pray that Your blessing and protection surround our family throughout this month. Keep us safe in our travels, adventures, and daily activities.

    As we enjoy the beauty of summer, we remember Your creation and give thanks. “The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it” (Psalm 24:1). Help us to appreciate the wonders of nature and spend quality time together, making lasting memories.

    Lord, we seek Your wisdom in our decisions and plans. “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you” (James 1:5). Grant us discernment to make choices that honor You and bring joy to our family.

    May our home be filled with love, peace, and harmony. “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8). Help us to support and encourage one another, growing closer as a family.

    We pray for opportunities to rest and rejuvenate. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). Let this summer be a time of refreshment for our bodies, minds, and spirits.

    Father, we also ask for Your provision and care. “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19). Meet our needs and bless us with Your abundance, so we may share with others and be a light in our community.

    Thank You, Lord, for Your unending love and faithfulness. We place this month of August into Your hands, trusting in Your perfect plan for our family.

    As we spend together as families, grant us the grace to make memories that last a lifetime.

    In Jesus’ name, we pray,

    Amen.

    Remain blessed

    Yours,

    Fadzai

  • Dear son/ daughter in law

    I am praying for you. Yes I know it will be a while before we meet you. However I am excited and expectant at the prospect of you joining our family. I also want you to know that I am doing the ground work in your future spouse. I am praying and having lots of introspective conversations.

    It is my prayer that you both thrive in this. Below is my prayer for you. I will be praying this over you now and always.

    Lord I thank you for my future son/ daughter in law.

    I come before You today with a heart full of hope and trust in Your perfect plans. I lift up in prayer the future spouse of my child. I ask for Your guidance and blessing upon their life even now, as they journey towards the time when they will meet and join our family.

    Lord, I pray for their character:

    “Create in them a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within them” (Psalm 51:10). May they grow in integrity, kindness, and love, reflecting Your nature in all they do.

    Guide their steps, Lord

    “I ask that they trust in You with all your heart and lean not on their own understanding; in all thier ways submit to You, and You will make their paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6). Direct their choices and lead them on a path of righteousness.

    Bless their relationships:

    “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8). Surround them with friendships that encourage and uplift, and help them to grow in love and understanding.

    Strengthen their faith:

    “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful” (Colossians 3:15). Draw them close to You, that their faith may be firm and their trust in You unshakeable.

    Prepare their hearts for marriage:

    “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). Teach them the true meaning of love and equip them with the qualities that will make them a wonderful spouse.

    Grant them wisdom and discernment:

    “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you” (James 1:5). Help them to make wise decisions that honor You and bless their future marriage.

    Thank You, Lord, for hearing my prayer. I trust in Your timing and Your plans, and I look forward to the day when we will welcome this special person into our family.

    In Jesus’ name, Amen.

    If you have prayed or are praying, do share in comment section below. I want to join my faith with your regarding the future of our children.

    God bless you.

  • Parental contribution

    Men often face various barriers to opening up about their struggles, influenced by cultural, psychological, and social factors.

    What tips can we do as parents to support our sons and all the men in our lives to enjoy positive mental wellbeing?

    1. Cultural and Social Norms:
      Men are often socialized to conform to traditional masculine norms, which emphasize strength, stoicism, and self-reliance. Research indicates that these norms discourage emotional expression and vulnerability. For example, Mahalik et al. (2003) found that men who strongly adhere to traditional masculine norms are less likely to seek help and express emotions, as doing so is seen as a sign of weakness . Practical TIP- In our homes we can encourage fathers to role model seeking help and support from family members. We can learn more about mental health presentations and other things that we do not know. -As parents we need to stay current and updated.
    2. Fear of Stigmatization:
      There is a significant stigma attached to mental health issues and emotional vulnerability among men. Vogel et al. (2011) demonstrated that men fear being judged or labeled as weak if they disclose their struggles. This fear of stigmatization leads to a reluctance to discuss their problems or seek professional help. Practical Tip- from a young age, normalise boys struggling with their emotions or being frustrated. For example when they have a melt down, try and refrain from ‘mukomana haadaro’ translated ‘boys don’t do that’
    3. Perceived Inadequacy of Emotional Expression:
      Many men believe they lack the skills to effectively communicate their emotions. Research by Levant et al. (2009) shows that men often feel inadequate in expressing their feelings, partly due to limited emotional vocabulary and the societal expectation to suppress emotions. Practical Tip.. teach all your children on the importance and place of emotion. generally in many African Christian homes, emotions such as anger, sadness, anxiety are not clearly defined but shrouded in religious terms yet we see David in the book of psalms battling these emotions time and time again. Next time you feel anxious about something.. a new job, friendship, interview etc.. vocalise that and demonstrate practical strategies that you are applying to overcome the anxiety eg breathing exercise.. going for a walk, praying, meditation etc.
    4. Concerns About Burdening Others:
      Men often worry about burdening others with their problems, fearing that opening up might negatively impact their relationships or be seen as a drain on others’ emotional resources. Research by Addis and Mahalik (2003) found that men are less likely to discuss personal issues because they do not want to be perceived as a burden to their friends or family.
    5. Lack of Supportive Environments:
      Many men do not have access to supportive environments where they feel safe to express their struggles. A study by Courtenay (2000) highlights that men are less likely to find supportive spaces that encourage open emotional expression, as many social settings for men emphasize competition and emotional restraint over mutual support. Practical Tip- Normalise your children see you BUILDING life giving relationships. Talk about nurturing relationships, identify them together and discuss what makes them special. Who are the two people that you count on in our own life?

    These factors collectively contribute to why men might struggle to open up about their problems, impacting their mental health and well-being. We can change that narrative and it begins in our homes.

    What else can you add?

    Found this useful? Let me know in comment section below. If you need to discuss some of this in depth, do get in touch via this link .

  • Men’s mental health week

    What can we do as mothers to support our son’s mental well being?

    Maintaining good mental health is essential for overall well-being. Here are seven tips for that mothers can role model to their sons to support and improve their mental health:

    1. Open Up About Your Feelings:
    • Talking about your feelings isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a way to take charge of your well-being. Whether it’s with friends, family, or a therapist, sharing your thoughts and emotions can relieve stress and provide new perspectives.

    2.Stay Active:

    • Regular physical activity boosts mood, reduces stress, and improves overall mental health. Aim for at least 30 minutes of exercise most days of the week. Activities like walking, running, or team sports can be particularly beneficial.

    3.Maintain a Healthy Diet:

    • Eating a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains can positively impact your mood and energy levels. Avoid excessive sugar, caffeine, and alcohol.

    4.Build Strong Relationships:

    • Investing time in building and maintaining relationships can provide a valuable support network. Social connections are crucial for emotional support and can help combat feelings of isolation. You can join our facebook community here

    5.Set Realistic Goals:

    • Setting achievable goals provides a sense of purpose and accomplishment. Break larger tasks into smaller, manageable steps and celebrate your progress along the way.
    • 6.Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation:
    • Techniques such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, and yoga can help reduce stress and increase your ability to stay present in the moment. Even a few minutes a day can make a difference.

    7.Seek Professional Help When Needed:

    • If you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed, seeking help from a mental health professional is crucial. Therapists, counselors, and support groups can provide strategies and support to navigate difficult times.

    Prioritizing mental health can lead to a more fulfilling and balanced life. Remember, it’s important to address mental health proactively, just as you would physical health.

  • Praying for our sons and sons in law

    power of praying mum

    Praying for your son/ son in law is a meaningful practice rooted in biblical principles and examples. Here are seven reasons why it is important:

    1. For Wisdom and Guidance:
    • Example: King Solomon asked God for wisdom to lead his people, and God granted his request (1 Kings 3:9-12). Praying for your sons to receive wisdom and guidance helps them make godly decisions throughout their lives.
    • 2-Protection:
    • Example: Psalm 91 is a powerful prayer for protection, where the psalmist speaks of God’s protection over those who trust in Him (Psalm 91:1-2, 9-11). Praying for your sons’ protection is essential for their physical, emotional, and spiritual safety.

    3-For Strength and Courage:

    • Example: Joshua was encouraged by God to be strong and courageous as he led the Israelites into the Promised Land (Joshua 1:9). Praying for your sons to have strength and courage enables them to face challenges and overcome obstacles with faith.

    4-For Faith and Spiritual Growth:

    • Example: Timothy’s faith was nurtured by his mother and grandmother, and Paul commended their influence on him (2 Timothy 1:5). Praying for your sons’ faith and spiritual growth ensures they develop a strong, personal relationship with God.

    5-For Character and Integrity:

    • Example: Daniel maintained his integrity and faithfulness to God even in a foreign land and under pressure (Daniel 6:4-5, 10). Praying for your sons’ character and integrity helps them to be honest, trustworthy, and morally upright.

    6-For God’s Favor and Success:

    • Example: Joseph found favor with God and man, leading to success even in difficult circumstances (Genesis 39:2-4, 21-23). Praying for God’s favor on your sons can open doors of opportunity and bless their endeavors.

    7-For Their Future and Purpose:

    • Example: Jeremiah 29:11 speaks of God’s plans for a hopeful future. Praying for your sons’ future and purpose aligns them with God’s will and helps them fulfill their God-given destinies.

    Each of these reasons highlights the importance of seeking God’s intervention and blessings in various aspects of your sons’ lives, grounding them in biblical truth and spiritual strength.

    Look forward to you joining us on this journey.

    Here is to standing in the gap for our sons

    Details to join are via this link

    Love and blessings

    Fadzi xx

  • Self acceptance

    Today our journal reading was on Self acceptance.

    Self-acceptance is a crucial aspect of mental and emotional well-being. Here are some strategies for fostering self-acceptance, along with relevant Bible verses for spiritual encouragement:

    1. Practice Self-Compassion

    Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend.

    • Bible Verse: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32

    2. Focus on Your Strengths

    Identify and celebrate your strengths and achievements, rather than dwelling on weaknesses or failures.

    • Bible Verse: “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4:13

    3. Embrace Your Uniqueness

    Recognize that you are unique and that your individuality is a gift.

    • Bible Verse: “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” – Psalm 139:13-14

    4. Forgive Yourself

    Let go of past mistakes and forgive yourself, understanding that everyone makes errors.

    • Bible Verse: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” – 1 John 1:9

    5. Practice Gratitude

    Regularly reflect on and express gratitude for the positive aspects of your life.

    • Bible Verse: “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:18

    6. Set Realistic Goals

    Set achievable goals and celebrate your progress, no matter how small.

    • Bible Verse: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

    7. Surround Yourself with Supportive People

    Build a community of friends and family who uplift and encourage you. Our intentional parenting whatsapp group is a community of hardworking, committed mothers who are willing to build a village.

    • Bible Verse: “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:11

    8. Take Care of Your Body

    Engage in activities that promote physical health, as this can enhance your mental and emotional well-being. This may we have embarked on #10kintentionalwalk challenge in aid of our mental health.

    • Bible Verse: “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own.” – 1 Corinthians 6:19

    9. Engage in Mindfulness and Prayer

    Practice mindfulness and prayer to center yourself and connect with your spirituality. Our 6am club is a cornerstone and safe space to start the day. We do prayers Monday- Friday 6am-6:30am.

    • Bible Verse: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” – Philippians 4:6

    10. Accept God’s Unconditional Love

    Remember that God’s love for you is unconditional and everlasting.

    • Bible Verse: “Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 8:39

    By integrating these strategies and reflecting on these Bible verses, you can nurture a sense of self-acceptance that is rooted in both personal growth and spiritual understanding.

    Hope this helps.

    stay blessed

    stay intentional 🌱