Intentional parenting

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  • Celebrate

    Day 4

    Tonight on the webinar we were discussing celebrating milestones. We acknowledged that we go through a lot of emotions as our children reach different milestones; first day at nursery, school, university, girlfriends etc.

    With the exam season just gone past, we encouraged each other that we should celebrate the effort we put into things:

    – Celebrate our children for completing the exams than waiting to celebrate the grades. It is more important to acknowledge their efforts, dedication and commitment.

    – Celebrate ourselves for accomplishing our goals too, be it cooking fresh meals consistency for the week, listening to all the teen friendship dramas etc. Buy yourself some flowers, paint your nails, go out for coffee.

    Celebrations can take different forms to suit the family, budget, child’s age personality etc. Examples were given of cooking the child’s favourite meal, prayer, thank you note, verbal acknowledgements of his/her efforts.

    I remember the stress we were under when big brother wrote his GCSE. It was monumental! What didn’t help was that his mock results were beyond shocking but appalling in every sense of the word.

    Initially, I panicked and then quickly remembered to turn to God. I poured my heart out to Him and I can tell you when I got up from my knees, I looked my boy square in the eye and told him it was going to be ok.

    I remember very well sharing this with a sister from church that I was praying and believeing God for my son’s results. The sister chided and reminded me that the boy needs to revise. Yes, that’s true. What I knew was that if his mocks were anything to reflect his current capabilities, there was no way a couple of months’ revision would do to give us acceptable grades. Anyhow, when the boy wrote his last exam, we celebrated. We thanked God that he didn’t buckle down with pressure.

    I am grateful to tell you that the boy did pass and exceeded everyone’s expectations. Some may agree with him and say, he is capable. I believe prayer works.

    We also wanted to acknowledge and celebrate the #1styear milestone of this parenting webinar. Exactly a year on 31.7.17, we embarked on this journey and it has been phenomenal with lots of learning, support and encouragement.

    We would like to celebrate you the mother’s that have encouraged us so much along the way.

    Watch the space for more details.

    Eternally grateful. ❤🙏🏽

  • Grace

    Day 3

    Today I pray for grace. Grace for us to do what we need to do without feeling the strain and pressure. Over the years, I have come to appreciate and understand that grace is the oil that lubricates and eases the friction.

    I remember one particular day, 11th November 2017. I woke up as usual and got myself ready for work. However, something prompted me to look in the mirror just as I was brushing my teeth.

    As I lifted my head up to look into that mirror, a gentle voice whispered ‘that’s grace’. I stood and stared. I was starring at the person in the mirror. Indeed grace had located her, just as she was. It must have been a whole minute while I stood there and just intently locked eyes with this graced being.

    It was in that very moment, that Gods grace became so apparent. Overwhelming, sustaining and incredible grace. I have always had a sense of His presence, enablement, encouragement and comfort. What I didn’t realise is the depth of His grace.

    That week, work had been super busy and our son wasn’t feeling very well that he missed the entire week of school. As moms, we often just carry on, being brave, strong and composed. We do not realise how much strain and stress we are carrying. On this particular day, in that mirror moment, I got to understand that His grace is the buffer to my cortisol levels. Grace is indeed what carries and sustains me. The pressure both at home and work front had not gone unnoticed. The long daily commute did not help either. His grace had enabled me to carry on despite it all.

    This grace is available to all who would ask for it. He says my grace is sufficient for you too today. Would you receive that grace?

    Prayer: Lord, thank you that your grace is available for me today. You know the things I need to do, the places I need to be and all the stuff that needs done. May I not strive but receive your help without feeling guilty or lazy. Amen. 🙏🏽♥️

  • Anchor

    Day -2

    This hope [this confident assurance] we have as an anchor of the soul [it cannot slip and it cannot break down under whatever pressure bears upon it]–a safe and steadfast hope that enters within the veil [of the heavenly temple, that most Holy Place in which the very presence of God dwells],”

    ‭‭HEBREWS‬ ‭6:19‬ ‭

    Lord we thank you that it is You who enables and causes us to be hopeful. Thank you for our families, our hopes and aspirations. Despite what the world news, government statistics, even our friends may say today remind us of Your steadfast promises.

    Today, we join our faith with those who may feel they are in a hopeless situation. Lord by Your grace and mercy, would You allow them to see a glimpse of your faithfulness and trustworthiness. May they be encouraged as they put their trust in You. Thank you that by You, all things are possible. Thank you for allowing us to feel the warmth and confident assurance of your embrace.

    Are you feeling challenged, overwhelmed, stressed or hopeless today? God desires to exchange all those emotions with His love and care. The Lord is close to those who find themselves in a difficult and challenging place. He waits for us to invite Him into our situations and circumstances. Invite Him in.

    Though the words may be few or not even there, He understands and totally gets it.

    Reminder :Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. ♥️🙏🏽

  • Hope for mama’s

    Day-1

    “May your unfailing love be with us, Lord, even as we put our hope in you.”

    ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭33:22‬ ‭NIV‬‬

    Lord I thank you for each and every woman who is looking for hope and confidence in their journey. I lift up mothers this morning to you. Many a times, our journey is fraught with fear, disappointments, and constant giving without much returns. Lord we commit ourselves to you this morning. May we know and feel your love today as we go about our day. Lord help us to receive it with joy and thanksgiving. Thank you father that our hope is in you in our position and purpose as mothers. We look to you.

    Amen.

  • Grateful

    I am alive and well and for that I’m grateful . I give thanks to the Lord for His many blessings towards me. For those who remember I started my gratitude jar on the 15th of February.

    Since then, I have realised so many things and achieved so much personally, professionally and socially. Somehow, my jar has more sticky notes but I can honestly tell you, they do not reflect all the things I was meant to have noted. I have become lazy and somewhat forgetful to write them down. Typical, right? It doesn’t please the father, remember the parable of the ten lepers?

    This week I am grateful for a Daddies Girl (DG) who is no longer with us but taught and showed us how to live valiantly and gallantly for the Lord. Yesterday, we had the privilege to attend sister Grace’s beautiful send off. What beautiful testimony of how she touched so many lives with her faith, leading many to Christ. Personally, in the few months that I got to really know her, I learnt so much about faith, being forthright and a woman of integrity. I am grateful to God, for that opportunity I had to watch, listen and learn from her.

    The Bible says ‘how can they know if the gospel is not preached? It goes on to say .. how beautiful are the feet of those who carry the gospel. Our lives are letters that can be read, what messages are we preaching at work, home and our communities?

    Thank you Lord for all that you are to us. Sovereign king, Redeemer and restorer of our lives. ♥️🙏🏽

  • Motherhood and well being

    Webinar

    We were talking motherhood and well being on the webinar this evening.

    The ladies acknowledged that life can be busy and hectic but taking time out to recharge is important. We also acknowledged that as diaspora parents, lack of extended family support is a massive challenge.

    Some of the comments from the attendees:

    ” Know that you do not love your family if your do not look after yourself. Who is going to take care of them if you burn out?”

    “Don’t give ashes to your family when you have burnt out”

    Remember what they tell you on the plane in case of emergency???

    “Put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you put it on your child”.

    Strategies used by some of the moms in enhancing their well being.

    ‘-Me time’ at the swimming pool as well as reading and listening to biblical podcasts.

    -Exercising together as family, thereby being a role model and looking after our health.

    -Praying alone and with other ladies. Being willing to be open and vulnerable with other mothers about our challenges.

    – Building and maintaining a social network.

    – Learn and be prepared for the seasons of life. For example unplanned pregnancies potentially may cause a strain on role transition into motherhood.

    – Learning from other moms from all age groups and of different seasons.

    – Looking to God for counsel and wisdom.

    – Empower the older children to help with younger siblings with activities around the house.

    -Getting hubby or significant other to help with childcare whilst I attend to ‘me’.

    – A bath soak with candles, oils and a book is always a good easy treat.

    -Platforms such this webinar, to come and learn together, building our own online village.

    How do you unwind? What strategies have you seen or heard that are helpful? Would love to hear from you. xxx

    Seed of Hope 💕💕

  • Fulfilling purpose, realising your dreams.

    Dreams don’t thrive in a vacuum, without being supported, fanned, and bolstered.  And you can’t fertilize your dreams sufficiently all by yourself.  You need loving ambassadors, mentors, sponsors, and supporters who believe in you, and who see the future vision of you before it’s hatched.

    These supporters know how to keep you true to your dream even when you’re so afraid that all you want to do is run. To launch your big dream into the world as a healthy baby ready to thrive, you need a “village” to support you.

    I have been very hesitant to step out in faith. My past struggles used to stare me in the face, but my village has been nothing but supportive. Yesterday as I stepped into Airport Church for the parenting seminar, I vividly remembered the path the Lord had walked me through all those years that I sat under the ministry of Bishop Annie. In that moment, I felt vulnerable, broken and scared. I felt inadequate and unqualified. I sobbed like baby as I saw the grace and faithfulness of God starring at me in the very place that fear once stood.

    The Holy Spirit reminded me there and then that it was the struggle that has brought me to here and now. There is no shame in my struggle but God’s purpose and destiny. I can never stand and claim to be qualified. He, qualifies the called so that His purpose will be fulfilled.

    God says to Moses, what is it that you have in your hand? Exodus 4:2 .He poses the same question to each and everyone of us. Those things that you have encountered, seen , heard.. the hurt, pain, joy, laughter, setbacks, people and places . Those are the very essence of you. No one can tell of your struggles the way you can.

    “Look to the path you have walked and know that there lies your destiny”

    hope 💕

  • Expectations

    Webinar

    Very emotive and exciting discussion this evening on the parenting webinar.

    We established that God is the one who made us stewards for these children, we can go back to Him for help, counsel and guidance.

    For most of us first generation migrant parents, the environment and cultural expectations can be challenging.

    Strategies shared to manage expectations:

    ⁃ Prayer : Dedicate a day/ time to fast and pray for your children.

    ⁃ Communicate clearly your expectations and reasons for them with your children.

    ⁃ Be bold and honest with your community/ network about your position as a mother.

    ⁃ Don’t sacrifice your children for the community.

    ⁃ Love your children even in moments of failed or unmet expectations.

    “Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up.”

    1 Corinthians 13:7

    hope-filled ♥️🙏🏽

  • Day 30

    bible.com/296/isa.26.12.gnb

  • 09.04.18

    Today I will step out with the understanding of how I prayed and prepared for this job. I will remember the things I promised I would do both on my CV/ resume’ and interview.